June 12--Heaven Day!

June 12. It's been 12 years. My dad has been with Jesus for 12 years and I'm sure that it still feels like the first minute.
Can you imagine?!
In some ways the grieving gets easier. In some ways it is still, real hard.
I miss him, I don't want to forget him, I wouldn't want him to be anywhere else...he's singing and dancing perfectly and worshiping in ways that we can't comprehend, I yearn for heaven.
It's weird, it seems like there is just something in me every year that gets into a "funk" or just a sadness around this time of year. It happens right after my birthday (May 27) and lasts through Father's day. Ugh. Father's day.
It just automatically happens. It's weird. Each year God does something through this time, whether He just lets me be in the funk, He shows Himself, comforts and gets me through it. Or He allows me to share my dad's story and I get to talk about him a lot. Or I will be able to comfort someone who is grieving.
This year seemed to be a little different and I can't help but believe that this is all part of this grieving process. There has been an amazing sweetness that has happened over the last few weeks. God bringing me to new depths with Him. SO good. I love that it is happening during this time that is usually in a "funk". There have still been times of sadness. Some days are good, some days are just sad. Today has been off and on. I miss him.
I love this picture of me and him when I was just little.
So sweet!
I'm praying today that God would reveal something to me that I have forgotten about him.
God show up and fill me with memories.
I have been filling my mind and thoughts with heaven today and it has been sweet. Tearful...but sweet!
God continually shows me His goodness as my perfect Father! Oh I love Him!
So thankful for the time that He gave me with my dad. So thankful that He grabbed hold of my dad's heart and gave him new life. So thankful that he is in heaven with his Creator. His smile has got to be REAL big. I like thinking about that.
"If I find in myself a desire which no experience in this world can satisfy, the most probable explanation is that I was made for another world."

C.S. Lewis

Isaiah 35

Even the wilderness will rejoice in those days. The desert will blossom with flowers. yes there will be an abundance of flowers and singing and joy! The deserts will become as green as the mountains of Lebanon, as lovely as Mount Carmel's pastures and the plain of Sharon. There the Lord will display his glory, the splendor of our God.
With this news, strengthen those who have tired hands, and encourage those who have weak knees. Say to those who are afraid, "Be strong, and do not fear, for your God is coming to destroy your enemies. He is coming to save you."
And when he comes, he will open the eyes of the blind and unstop the ears of the deaf. The lame will shout and sing! Springs will gush forth in the wilderness, and streams will water the desert.
The parched ground will become a pool, and springs of water will satisfy the thirsty land. Marsh grass and reeds and rushes will flourish where desert jackals once lived.
And a main road will go through that once deserted land. It will be named the Highway of Holiness. Evil-hearted people will never travel on it. It will be only for those who walk in God's ways; fools will never walk there.
Lions will not lurk along its course, and there will be no other dangers. Only the redeemed will follow it.
Those who have been ransomed by the Lord will return to Jerusalem, singing songs of everlasting joy. Sorrow and mourning will disappear, and they will be overcome with joy and gladness.

Imagine Art

A beautiful video done by Lee Rothenflue, a partner at the Austin Stone using his gift of filmmaking to tell the stories of others living for Christ. Imagine Art.
(HT Anne Smith)

The German Macarena

So last Saturday I went to visit Jen at work. I love visiting her at work because she works at probably the coolest place ever. The George Washington Carver Museum and Cultural Center.
This would also be the place where I got roped in to being a nun (a white nun) in a "black" Christmas Carol, which we affectionately called "The Cracked Out Christmas Carol". This was pretty much one of the most memorable events of my life.
FYI-The instant nun kits do make an appearance every so often.
Anyway, on Saturday they were celebrating Germany. I don't know. It must have been national Germany day.
They invited some old ladies to come and do some German dancing. So there were these two old ladies, as cute as can be, dressed up in their little German dresses kinda like this...Well, maybe not that intense. Just thought that was an amazing picture.
I was sad that I didn't have my camera with me.
One lady played the accordion and the other lady just danced. Jen had to go down to the stage to get some things figured out and I stayed backstage. The dancing old lady asked Jen if she wanted to dance with her and this was her response:
"Um...no but I have a friend that would....Emily get over here."
Nice. So she leaves me.
Thankfully, no one had shown up for the performance yet.
She taught me a simple dance that was basically the German version of the Macarena. Please picture this in your head...because it was quite funny.
We then start talking and I was asking her all sorts of questions and she was sharing about all of the different places she's traveled and the different types of dances that she has learned over the years. It was quite informative.
Here was the next part of the conversation...

Me: "So when did you start dancing?"
Old Lady: "Well, in college, you know...you have to take college credits."
Me, shaking my head in agreement: "mm hmm"
Old Lady: "I don't like balls..." silence... more silence.
Me: "mm, hmmm" more awkward silence, wondering what was coming next.
Old Lady: "When balls are involved, I get hit."
Me: "Yeah, me too."
Old Lady: "So I took ball-room dancing instead and then folk dancing, and the rest is history. I've been dancing ever since."

She was precious.
Jen and I then got out of there as fast as we could for fear that she would make us (me) dance with her for their performance.
It was great. Anytime I go to the Carver, something crazy happens. I love it. This is Jen's life. I love it.
If anyone needs an instant nun kit or if anyone needs to know how to do the German Macarena, let me know.

Sweetness!

I'm rejoicing and rejoicing with my friends Dan and Shadley! They are in Ethiopia right now picking up their new son Esias! They have been in this adoption process for so long and have gone through so much to get where they are. God is so faithful and so good!Isn't he precious!?!? Oh my word! So sweet! Pray for his continued health, he has a cough and some cold stuff going on. Also pray for Shadley that God would take away her sickness.
My heart is also with my friends the Ivey's (Jamie and Aaron)who are in the waiting period with their kiddos Story and Amos. They are in Haiti. I can't imagine what that feels like to be so far away from your kids. Pray for them too, that everything would come together that needs to so that they can bring them home SOON.

By Our Love

I got the new Christy Nockels CD today and it's great!
The song that has hit me and I can't stop listening to is "By Our Love". It's amazing.
Here are the lyrics...

Brothers, let us come together
Walking in the Spirit, there's much to be done...
We will come reaching, out from our comforts
And they will know us by our love...

Sisters, we were made for kindness
We can pierce the darkness as He shines through us...
We will come reaching, with a song of healing...
And they will know us by our love!

The time is now
Come Church arise...
Love with His hands
See with His eyes...
Bind it around you,
Let it never leave you,
And they will know us by our love...

Children, You are hope for justice,
Stand firm in the Truth now, set your hearts above
You will be reaching, long after we’re gone,
And they will know you by your love!

Choosing Beauty

I was just introduced to this website last night. It's called True Campaign.
Here is a little blurb on their website:
"The True Campaign exists to end the crisis of distorted self image by challenging cultural ideals about identity and beauty, so we can be free to impact our world as God intended.

Let’s face it: too many of us dislike our bodies and struggle with eating issues. It’s time to start talking. It’s time to change and take action. For the sake of our future, its time to be True."

I'll be honest. This is something that I struggle with DAILY. My mind can easily go in a million different directions except for truth about how God sees me.
It's a daily battle to speak truth against the lies that satan LOVES to attack me with.
I have been walking through an amazing program that has opened my eyes to more and more freedom from this, and from a lot of areas of my life.
God is SO good.
I wanted to share with you the True Campaign Pact that I am going to read daily from now on. By the strength of Jesus, I have faith that He can help me live this out.

I choose to:
--Believe what God says about who I am--body, mind, heart and spirit.

--Think and speak positively about my body.

--Stop analyzing and critiquing other peoples' physical appearance.

--Seek balance with eating, exercise and how I care for myself.

--Infuse truth into negative conversations about eating, weight and body shape.

--Develop inner qualities like kindness, compassion and integrity.

--Break free from being self-focused, so I can impact the world as God intended.

--Trust in God's love for me and communicate that love to others.

"You are fearfully and wonderfully made. So stop being so fearful and express some wonder at how incredible God made you." Psalm 139:14--I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well. (taken from True Campaign)

My precious roommate put up signs in my room for my b-day and this was one of them.

I love this picture because when I look in the mirror I am covered by this beautiful truth, that I am beautiful and precious and HIS sight!

Amazing

tomorrow! PRAY!

Tomorrow is the day. I can't even believe it. My mom and my sisters will be in Austin Texas at 6:20pm.
wow.
The last couple of days I have been SO sick. It's not strep, it's not a sinus infection...just some sort of virus. So no antibiotics just decongestant and nasal spray (that doesn't seem to be working)
I've been laid up in bed and my body hurts and aches. The times that I've gotten up to move or do anything I'm completely wiped out.
This is NOT happening is it?!!? They come tomorrow and I'm still blowing my nose a million times, can hardly talk...let alone laugh without coughing up a lung...seriously.
God is good. His timing and His plan is perfect and I'm trusting Him that He alone can give me energy and clear out my body of all nastiness.
It's a big deal for me. Its the first time that my family will have come to visit since I've moved to Austin. I've been here almost 3 years and have an amazing life here and I finally get to show them!!! They will meet my friends, see my apartment, experience church, see Austin...I'm so excited. I just want to be well and I REALLY don't want to get them sick.
Please pray for a miracle. It seems silly to ask...but pray!!!
No matter what, we will enjoy each other, there will be laughter and even pant wetting. I just really want to fully enjoy it!

VOTE!

Vote for Things with Wings!!!! Here.

Spurgeon Devo

God's High Places

I will set him on high, because he hath known my name. (Psalm 91:14)

Does the Lord say this to me? Yes, if I have known His name. Blessed be the Lord, I am no stranger to Him. I have tried Him, proved Him, and known Him, and therefore do I trust Him. I know His name as a sin-hating God, for by His Spirit's convincing power I have been taught that He will never wink at evil. But I also know Him as the sin-pardoning God in Christ Jesus, for He has forgiven me all trespasses. His name is faithfulness, and I know it, for He has never forsaken me though my troubles have multiplied upon me.
This knowledge is a gift of grace, and the Lord makes it to be the reason why He grants another grace-gift, namely, setting on high. This is grace upon grace. Observe that if we climb on high, the position may be dangerous; but if the Lord sets us there it is safe. He may raise us to great usefulness, to eminent experience, to success in service, to leadership among workers, to a father's place among the little ones. If He does not do this, He may set us on high near fellowship, clear insight, holy triumph, and gracious anticipation of eternal glory. When God sets us on high, Satan himself cannot pull us down. Oh, that this may be our case all through this day!

You

Oh...My...Word

Um...this completely made my day.
This would be a picture of my mother and my sweet love, Lily Margaret. They were playing the "make silly faces" game. This particular face was "surprised".
Oh...my...word

1 Week Tomorrow!

1 week from tomorrow is when legendary starts.
I can't even believe it. My mom and my sisters will be in Austin, TX. It's a dream come true!
It's hitting my nephews that this is happening and they aren't coming. :( so sad.
Laura was telling me that Noah yesterday let out a huge sigh and said, "I guess I'll never know what Texas looks like." He also said with all seriousness..."Mom, are you worried about getting lassoed" I'm not exactly sure what he has in his mind as far as what Texas is like. I love it.
I'm trying to convince my sisters that they need to document on video every step of the traveling process...especially with my mom. (sorry mom!) It's gonna be hilarious! My mom flying on an airplane. It's gonna be great! I kind of hope that she gets randomly selected to get searched. Ok...sorry mom. I love you!

Recording

Tonight I went to the Ivey Casa to record some bgv's (background vocals) for Aaron's new record. We got through 3 songs. It was fun. When I do stuff like this, I realize how insecure I am. I don't like that about myself. It's like I'm not trusting that God is good and perfect in how He's created me.
Anyway...I could go on and on with that topic. But I won't.
Here is a pic of Bush and Aaron listening to some tracks.
It was a great night and was pleased with how things turned out. You all will be BLESSED by this record. Seriously. It's unbelievable.
One of the songs I did tonight was "It Is Well"... um...I had goosebumps the entire time we were doing this song. It has a raw sound to it. Like it's off but on. If that makes sense.
It has a The Swell Season feel to it.
I also got to listen to a song that we did gang vocals on last Saturday. WOW!
Aaron's songwriting is powerful. It will kick you in the pants, it will make you fall on your face, it will make you get off your butt and do something to make the world more beautiful.
Get ready for it.
All the guys did such a great job on this. I feel so privileged to get to work with these amazing musicians.
God is crazy.

Forever Love

I just got Francesca Battistelli's CD. What's fun about this, is that several years ago a friend of mine heard her sing at a conference in Florida...she sang a song called "Forever Love". He thought immediately that I needed to sing this song at my home church. So I learned it from an old version of the song that she had on her myspace page. I sang it at my home church a few times and have done it at a few weddings too. It's a beautiful song!
So when I first heard this song, she had just signed with a company and I don't think she had started recording yet.
Anyway, it's crazy to see where she's at now...new album, 5 Dove nominations, tours...
crazy.
So I listened to "forever love" on her new CD and I fell in love with the words all over again. (I think I like the rough version better though.)
Here are the words:

You are my Forever Love
You are my Forever Love
You are my Forever Love
You are my Forever Love

From the bottom of my heart I'll sing to You
From the depths of who I am I'll love You
With everything inside I'll run to You
Cause all that I've become I owe to You

Nothing in this world could ever seperate us
I will love You more than anyone on earth
Nothing I desire could ever satisfy me the way that You do

LIVE Videocast.

hey hey hey!! It's Friday and I'm REAL happy about that.

So tomorrow is going to be a sweet day. I will be joining the Choir for the City (Austin Stone Choir) and a few others to record some gang vocals on a few songs for Aaron Ivey's new record.
It's gonna be sweet.
You can join us! Aaron will be posting a LIVE videocast on his blog at 2:30pm CST! www.aaronivey.com
In Aaron's words: "It will be fun times with some singing, dancing, and possibly some juggling with fire batons."
Don't miss it.
Also...next week I am heading in to the studio to do some BGV's (background vocals) for the record! YEAH! So excited for that.

So check it out.... LIVE videocast Saturday (tomorrow) May 9th. 2:30pm CST www.aaronivey.com
Fire batons...just sayin'

What Do I Know of Holy?

I'm lovin' this song by Addison Road. SO good.

What Do I Know Of Holy

I made you promises a thousand times
I tried to hear from Heaven
But I talked the whole time
I think I made You too small
I never feared You at all, no
If You touched my face would I know You?
Looked into my eyes could I behold You?

What do I know of You
Who spoke me into motion?
Where have I even stood
But the shore along Your ocean?
Are fire? Are you fury?
Are You sacred? Are You beautiful?
What do I know? What do I know of Holy?

I guess I thought that I had figured You out
I knew all the stories and I learned to talk about
How You were mighty to save
Those were only empty words on a page
Then I caught a glimpse of who You might be
the slightest hint of You brought me down to my knees

What do I know of Holy?
What do I know of wounds that will heal my shame?
And a God who gave life "its" name?
What do I know of Holy?
Of the One who the angels praise?
All creation knows Your name
On earth and heaven above
What do I know of this love?

15 days

15 days and the Wild Ward Women Weekend starts.
It's truly going to be an event. Get ready, it's gonna get crazy.

There will be squealing, snuggling, laughing, pant wetting, shopping, eating, late nights, sleeping in and who knows what else.
When my mom, sisters and I get together. It gets a little out of control.

I need to come up with a plan for when they are here.
Things to do.
So far we have a good list going of...FOOD. I think we have that taken care of.

Help me come up with some ideas!

Buy A Purse

But a purse. Do it.
Check out Maris' blog for details.
It goes to a GREAT organization.

Oh My Heart!

I told my sisters that they needed to record the kids for me because I was missing them. They did and it was awesome!
You can check out the Brown boys here.
The McCarraghers here. (Watch the 2nd video first)
Oh my heart.
I love them all. How precious are they?!
This pic made my day today of Mr. Sam Brown...look at those freckles!

Lily

This made my day! oh my sweet Lily Margaret! I need her. now.

In Your Atmosphere

Love me some John Mayer.

(HT: Zach)

Yearning For Heaven

I'm yearning for Heaven today and I'm missing my dad. I've been thinking about him a lot lately. It's funny how it goes in spurts where I will all of a sudden get to talk about him a lot. I love when that happens. God gives me opportunities to tell his amazing story.
I heard the new MercyMe song on the radio the other day called "Finally Home" and caught some of the lyrics and started listening and found myself with tears.
Here are the lyrics:

I'm gonna wrap my arms around my daddy's neck
And tell him that I've missed him
And tell him all about the man that I became
And hope that it pleased him

There's so much I want to say
There's so much I want you to know

When I finally make it home
When I finally make it home

Then I'll gaze upon the throne of the King
Frozen in my steps
And all the questions that I swore I would ask
Words just won't come yet

So amazed at what I've seen
So much more than this old mind can hold

And the sweetest sound my ears have yet to hear
Voices of the angels

Here is their video of this song:

There are so many things that I wish I could talk to him about. I wonder all the time what he would think about what God is doing in my life, the opportunities that God has given me. What would he say about it all!? What would he think of my fun crazy friends? What would he think about me worshiping and singing at church? How would he love me, like I am today? How would he love and play with my nephews and niece?
I wonder how He would have loved and lived for Jesus these last 12 years. He would have lived crazy for Him.
My heart hurts when I think of him not being at my wedding someday. My heart hurts when I think about him being goofy and doing funny dances...I miss that a lot.
At the same time, I wouldn't want him to be anywhere else. He is more alive and more crazy now than he ever was or ever would have been. His big smile is going non-stop and I'm sure he has some new dance moves. The thought of him with Jesus brings me so much joy, even when it hurts to miss him here.
The thought of him getting to worship with all of heaven in full view of Jesus is overwhelming. I love it.
There is a deep yearning for heaven in me. It's going to be sweet.

Thank You Jesus for loving me and desiring Your glory that You make it possible to have life here on earth, but also for eternity. It is by You alone that I will get to see my dad again and get to share Heaven with him and all the other saints. It is by You alone that I will get to worship You face to face. Thank You for the cross and thank You that it didn't end there. Thank You that Your power is complete and perfect and timely. I yearn most of all to see Your face, to talk to You, to sing with You, to cry out Holy Holy Holy with the angels, to see You on Your throne. It will be most beautiful.
Thank You Jesus. YOU are beautiful.

My Man Spurg.

Y'all know how I love Charles Spurgeon. He's the man.

I read this and wanted to share it...

Psalm 138:8 "The Lord will perfect that which concerneth me."

He who has begun will carry on the work which is being wrought within my soul. The Lord is concerned about everything that concerns me. All that is now good, but not perfect, the Lord will watch over, preserve, and carry out to completion. This is a great comfort. I could not perfect the work of grace myself. Of that I am quite sure, for I fail every day and have only held on so long as I have because the Lord has helped me. If the Lord were to leave me, all my past experience would go for nothing, and I should perish from the way. But the Lord will continue to bless me. He will perfect my faith, my love, my character, my lifework. He will do this because He has begun a work in me. He gave me the concern I feel, and, in a measure, He has fulfilled my gracious aspirations. He never leaves a work unfinished; this would not be for His glory, nor would it be like Him. He knows how to accomplish His gracious design, and though my own evil nature and the world and the devil all conspire to hinder Him, I do not doubt His promise. He will perfect that which concerneth me, and I will praise Him forever. Lord, let Thy gracious work make some advance this day!

It's a Beautiful Thing

Wow...oh wow.

Yesterday was a powerful day at the Stone. Sunday's are incredible. Something that I love that we have started doing is after we sound check in the morning, we gather in the green room to have a little devo/worship/communion time before the service starts.

On Easter Sunday Todd Agnew led us in a devo/worship time...it was a sweet sweet time preparing our hearts for worship. We then took communion together. Matt went around with the cup to dip our cracker in and he got to me and looked me in the eyes and said, "Emily...this is the greatest thing that has ever happened in your life...this was done for you."
Oh my heart.
The GREATEST thing that has ever happened in my life...JESUS.

So yesterday Matt preached on the recession, suffering and trusting God.
(Isaiah 45:5-7)
HEAVY and GOOD.
You need to go and listen to it. now.
With a message like that and the set list that we did. MAN! Powerful day.
Here are some quotes from the sermon...
"In light of suffering...Sometimes trusting God means that we don't come down from the cross."
"As believers we have got to come to a place where we suffer well."
"Christians never suffer without purpose."
"God will bring us to the doorstep of death so we will turn our eyes to the only one who can raise us from the dead."

After the message we sang "It Is Well With My Soul".
It is humbling to be on stage looking out over the people worshiping. People with their hands up, light in their eyes, people on their knees, faces to the ground...and tears.
During one of the services there was a gal sitting in the front row right in front of me and when we got up to sing the last set I noticed that she was crying...hard. I heard her in my in-ear's. My heart moved as I saw her face and her body shaking from crying.
As we started singing It Is Well, she leaned over with her head down crying harder. Pretty soon people around her starting laying their hands on her back...praying for her...showing her that they were there, that she is loved & being prayed for. Her body continued to shake as she cried harder.
I immediately started praying for her as I sang "When peace like a river attendeth my way...when sorrows like sea billows roll...whatever my lot thou hast taught me to say...it is well...it is well with my soul"
God is glorified.

Another service I saw a mom and daughter sitting together. I don't know their situation but I know that she was hurting. The mom was crying hard and the daughter had her arms around her hugging her and kissing her cheek and wiping her tears away. I saw the mom's lips moving as she sang through her tears, "It is well...with my soul...it is well, it is well with my soul"
God is glorified.

I heard more stories and saw more faces with tears throughout the day and night. God broke through to a lot of people yesterday. What I love is that it doesn't end there. God doesn't work like that, He doesn't just work for a day and be done. He will continue to use the craziness that happened yesterday to stir in hearts and move people to live for Him fully and be conformed to His image.
God is glorified.

During the 7:00 service (I LOVE the 7...they go nuts.) after we sang It Is Well, Aaron went into "Our God Reigns" (not planned...love it!)...it was awesome. Proclaiming that God reigns FOREVER. In light of suffering, He REIGNS! We ended with Blessed Be Your Name. "...my heart will choose to say...Lord blessed be Your name."

We sat down at the end and Aaron and I looked at each other and gave the look of "what in the world just happened." and the nod of "that was crazy". In Aaron's words..."Things just got silly".
It was one of the most powerful days. So humbled and grateful to be in the midst of what God is doing.
It's a beautiful thing.

I Miss You

So I'm "missing" a lot lately. I'm missing my short hair, I'm missing my truck, I'm missing my family, I'm missing my nephews and my niece. Thankfully my personalized google desktop countdown says that there are only 29 days until the Wild Ward Women Weekend. I'm not sure if Austin is ready for it. As excited as I am about seeing my mom and my sisters, the kiddos won't be along :( Which will make for some late nights and sleeping in...that I KNOW my sisters are excited for...but no kiddos. :( I miss them. They grow up fast, when I'm not there to see them everyday. Laura has some amazing Noah stories on her blog. CLASSIC. Jill has a video of sweet Sam doing an amazing job on a song about John 3:16. There's all sorts of good stuff on their blogs. I'm thankful that they do a good job of updating it with stories, pics and videos. That helps. But sometimes you just need some hugs, snuggles and smooches. Sam likes to send me some "love" in the mail. That helps too.
Here are some recent pics of the sweet ones...
The oldest Jackson Davis...I can't believe how grown up he is! SO handsome!Noah Joseph...this pic is actually old news...he now has BOTH front teeth missing!My sweet lovely Lily Margaret giving the thumbs up! That's my girl!
William Parker, I seriously can't get enough of that smile...Samuel Asher...he's a stinker can you tell?!Little man Maxwell Thomas...his dimples are the best!
oh man...I need them all. right now would be great.

Missing my Short Hair

I miss my short hair.
What do I do?!
Short hair:Long hair:wow. I'm really cheesy.

Signature Dance Moves=Good Times

Kate and I are heading out today to lead worship for a women's retreat with some people from her home church. We are heading west to a retreat center.
I'm really looking forward to getting away for the weekend and spending lots of time with God. Leading worship is still sometimes scary for me...I just don't like the talking part. I'm learning more and more about releasing it all and letting the Spirit lead and trusting Him that when He wants me to talk He will give me words and when He wants me to just sing...I'll just sing.
I like to just sing and worship.
We practiced last night at Jimmy's, since we needed a keyboard, and it was a sweet sweet time. Kate and I are both dealing with some crazy allergy issues, she was dealing with some nasal blockage and I was dealing with some crazy throat weirdness. So it made for some interesting sounds...but it is so fun to do music together. God has gifted her with amazing talent and creativity...it seems that when we get together to work on stuff, God gives us sweet creativity in putting songs together. I'm excited about how this has come together.
It also seems that when we get together to work on stuff...we get REAL silly. Let's just say that some fun music was being played on the piano while I pulled out one of my signature dance moves, water was spit out from laughing so hard, opera singing to It is Well, wheezing and on the ground laughing all took place. We thought we were safe being in the laundry room with the door closed on one end of the house...but when we were finished we walked out to Jimmy shaking his head saying, "y'all are hilarious!"
BUSTED.
Whatevs. You know how we do...
I'm tired today and the craziness that has been non-stop the last two weeks has started catching up to me. I'm praying for unbelievable strength and energy. Please pray!
I fell asleep going to the bathroom at work. No joke! I'm not quite sure how long I was in there, but I'm sure my co-worker was wondering what in the world was going on!
That's definitely not normal.
I'm loving this song lately, I sang it Tuesday night when Jimmy, Poetry For a King and I led worship for Texas Lutheran University's FCA group.
We're singing it this weekend too...

None But Jesus

In the quiet, in the stillness
I know that You are God
In the secret of Your presence
I know there I am restored

When You call I won't refuse
Each new day again I'll choose

There is no one else for me
None but Jesus
Crucified to set me free
Now I live to bring Him praise

In the chaos and confusion
I know You're sovereign still
In the moment of my weakness
You give me grace to do Your will

When You call I won't delay
This my song through all my days

All my delight is in You Lord
All of my hope, all of my strength
All my delight is in You Lord
Forevermore

There is nothing I want more than Jesus. He is all I need and all I desire. ALL my delight is in Him, ALL my hope, ALL my strength.
HE IS GOOD!!

Relevant Magazine Features Malatya!

The Malatya film is featured on the main page of the Relevant Magazine website! AWESOME! I posted about this the other day.

Kids Stuff Video

This video was played for the kids @ Austin Stone for Easter. So thankful for the children's ministry there!

(HT Becca)

Malatya

A couple of my friends from church have put together this amazing documentary called Malatya. It's about the first martyrs of the Turkish church. Here is an article that Justin Taylor put on his blog about it...

April 18, 2007, two Turkish Christians and a German missionary were tortured and killed inside a Bible Publishing house in Malatya, Turkey.

Summer 2008, two young filmmakers from Texas set out to create Malatya, a documentary exploring how three Christian martyrs have shaken the nation’s roots.

Necati Aydin, Uğur Yuksel and Tilmann Geske were tied to their chairs, tortured with butcher knives and killed for worshiping Christ. Semse Aydin and Susanne Geske, the wives of Necati and Tilmann, both contributed to the film. Echoing Christ’s words from the cross, they’ve publicly forgiven those guilty of their husbands’ deaths. Resources for Christian counseling are scarce in Turkey, a country of nearly 72 million, 99.8 percent of which is Muslim. This has left their surviving families and friends with little human support to lean on in a nationwide church of around 3,000 believers. The joy they find is purely in the hope of their sovereign God working through this time of trial for His glory and their good.

Testimony from leaders of the Turkish church shows even before the martyrdom, Turkish Christians faced persecution. They were unlawfully jailed, interrogated about their activities and even tortured. The deaths of these men have crossed a new line. Attacks and attempted murders have increased since the Malatya martyrdom. The current leader of the Turkish Protestant Alliance, Zekai Tanyar, told the filmmakers, "Before this, I would have said that we do suffer, but I wouldn't call the Turkish Church 'the Persecuted Church,' but all of a sudden, we are the persecuted church."

Turkish pastors revealed to the filmmakers the rise in persecution following the martyrdom has led many in the church to quit attending their fellowships or fall away from their faith all together. Others however have grown bolder in ministry, both in the sharing of their faith and serving in their churches, fully aware any church could be the next victim of violence.

Malatya also covers how the ongoing trial against the murder suspects has gained nationwide coverage in Turkey, where religious freedom is established by law. While some Turks think any Christian in Turkey must be a foreigner, and likely a subversive, thus championing the martyrdom in the name of patriotism, others despise the martyrdom as a hate crime. Turks now face a cultural dilemma: for the first since the founding of their republic, Turkish Christians were martyred.

Malatya is scheduled for DVD release across the globe April 18, 2009, the two-year anniversary of the martyrdom. Screenings are scheduled from Austin to Brazil, the UK, Germany, South Africa, Australia and more.

They have rented out Galaxy Highland Theaters on Saturday April 18 to show the premiere! You can get tickets on the website.
Also, you can watch the trailer, schedule a screening or buy the DVD on the website.
www.malatyafilm.com
I had the amazing honor to be a very small part of this documentary. My friend Jimmy and I recorded a version of the Rich Mullins song "I Will Sing". The song is played at the beginning of the movie. It's powerful.
God is very much glorified in all of this, and it's amazing to think that this story is going to be told all across the world.
Voice of the Martyrs has come under this project and has been supporting them and will be distributing it all over the world as well.
God is HUGE.
Check it out and get the word out.

Easter Sunday

Sunday. Easter. Jesus.

It was a beautiful day. Probably one of the most powerful Sundays we've had at Austin Stone.
We led worship with a choir and it was amazing. Matt brought a strong message of defining what a Christ follower should look like. You can listen to it here.
Here is a quote from his sermon that I loved:
"We all have sinned against an infinite God and we all deserve an infinite punishment...But God stepped in and took on infinite punishment through Jesus Christ...so we can have infinite life."
It was a crazy Sunday...with the first two services in the morning we had already reached around 4,000 people! We still had our two evening services to go! They were both packed out too! So many people that got to experience the power of God and many unbelievers who got to hear the truth of the gospel!! God is GOOD!!
Here are some pics that some people took of the day...At the end of Matt's sermon there was a video done by Jeremy Rodgers of different people in our church who have experienced the power of Jesus in their lives.
It is SO powerful. I've seen this done before, with the cardboard signs...and I have always been so moved by it. This time they are people I know....I seriously cried um...4 out of the 4 services!
So beautiful to see lives that have been changed by the power of the cross and the power of the resurrection! I love it!
These people are real. They truly have been captivated by Christ's love and have been transformed by HIS power.
Here is the video...

Cardboard Stories from The Austin Stone on Vimeo.

Gospel Centered Living

I have been blessed over and over by the The Stewart family and how they live out their lives in view of the gospel. It is a beautiful thing and I pray that God would continue to teach me and mold me into a woman who lives out and responds by covering the gospel over my life. I also pray that if the Lord blesses me with a family some day that I would raise them up and train them in godliness and with the gospel. Kimberly does an amazing job of sharing her process with this on her blog. She is real and honest, it is so beautiful. Please check it out!
When I think about having kids someday... as much as I can't wait and am so excited...it freaks me out. I have this thought that I'm going to totally mess them up.
Here is a little excerpt from a recent post where she was talking about how God redeems our failures, and she was sharing a story (a poop story...awesome!) about how she responded to her son, WesleyGrant, and how she had to ask his forgiveness, for not responding in a way that was in line with the gospel:

But the good news about the gospel is that it leads me to my savior who for freedom set me free (galatians 5:1) I am no longer bound to work for my approval...but I am fully approved in Jesus! My idol will always condemn me... it can offer no forgiveness...as I continue to look back over the same thing with the idols of my heart, it seems so crazy that I would ever turn to them...my savior gives not only forgiveness, but grants me righteousness guaranteed to be a right standing with god. I am free!
So, as the Spirit disclosed the things of the Father...I knew I was wrong and needed to make it right with WG. That is what is so hard about being a parent...seeing your failures effect your own children. Stew always tells me,
"Don't worry...you will scar them...but Jesus will redeem all their scars!"
And so with that hope, I went back into WG's room. I told him why I got angry and that the bible instructs me differently and I did not obey God. I told him that it was not his fault that mommy got angry. I told him I was wrong and sorry for my actions. I told him that Jesus is our only hope. He may not fully comprehend...but more we are starting habits...I guess tha is part of the redemption happening in my failures...we are passing on "I was wrong" and leaving behind "silence and lack of confession". So then I can hope in Jesus...that as he is making me more like Him, he will point my son to Himself as well...so know that you will scar your children...but our savior has a great redeeming plan both for our lives and theirs...hope in Jesus, the redeemer of all our failures.

SO good!
Another thing that she had posted at some point was a list of things that they were passing on in their family and things they were leaving behind. Such a great list and reminder of living in a way that is glorifying to Jesus...here is the list...

Passing On-- Family traditions
Leaving Behind -- Individualism

Passing On -- Worldview through the Gospel
Leaving Behind -- Worldview through man-centeredness

Passing On -- I love you
Leaving Behind -- Silence/Assumption

Passing On -- Failures are okay
Leaving Behind -- You control everything

Passing On -- Trust Jesus
Leaving Behind -- Worry

Passing On -- You are just like the poor
Leaving Behind -- There are no poor

Passing On -- I was wrong/Forgiveness
Leaving Behind -- Anger & Bitterness

Passing On -- World outside of America
Leaving Behind -- World is America

Passing On -- Security in Christ
Leaving Behind -- Security in Money

Passing On -- Others are first
Leaving Behind -- Others are second

Passing On -- Acceptance of suffering
Leaving Behind -- Comfort is true life

Passing On -- Courage is trusting YAWEH
Leaving Behind -- Safety is in your hands

Passing On -- We are sinners
Leaving Behind -- We are good

Passing On -- Jesus is the way, truth & life
Leaving Behind -- Your way is truth & life

That is gospel-centered living.
Thanks Kimberly for writing these posts! You are beautiful and such a blessing!!!

He Is Good.

Unbelievable.
This last Tuesday night was our First Tuesday Prayer meeting and it is always a powerful night...but there was something different about that night. Still trying to process through that one.
I seriously thought Jesus was coming back!
I really thought that I was going to open my eyes and see Him right in front of me. It was a powerful, powerful night.
Aaron led the night with worship and prayer and I had the privilege to help him lead worship. I'm always so humbled when God calls me to do this, He is so big and I am so small. Leading people into His presence seems like a huge deal when you think about the greatness of God.
It is a huge deal...He's famous and I am not.
Seems crazy that He would use a broken, messed up, unfaithful sinner like me.
But He likes to do that.
I came Tuesday night broken...my heart and my soul sort of felt like it had been crumpled and ripped up. God has been showing me the condition of my heart and it has not been fun. But it's good...because God is good.
In God showing me the condition of my heart, there was a sweet brokenness that led me to a deep place with Jesus of desiring Him more. I have cried out numerous times this week, "You are all I want...You are all I need". I knew coming to prayer and leading worship was going to be intense. When there is a deepness in your heart for Jesus in the middle of brokenness...He is going to do amazing, powerful things in worship. And He did.
One of the songs that we did was a new song that Aaron wrote. God is all over this song. It was POWERFUL! SO good. The name of Jesus is beautiful.
Here are the words:

There is a name that moves
A name so wonderful
The pow'r to rend the Heavens
And the peace to still the storm

His name is Jesus, Jesus
The Lamb of God the Lord Most High
He is Jesus

There is a name that loves
A name so wonderful
The One that loves the sinner
And heals the broken heart

His name is Jesus, Jesus
The Lamb of God, the Lord Most High
He is Jesus

All glory and fame
Be unto the One who reigns, Yes You reign
All Heaven and earth
Rejoice at the sound of Your name, of Your name

There is a name that saves
A name so wonderful
His blood has sealed our pardon
Through the triumph of the cross

Oh man...my heart is welling up with Hallelujahs as I type this out and sing it in my head! Just want to dance!
It's a beautiful thing to be on the stage looking out over the jam packed room full of people SHOUTING out songs to Him, hands raised, people getting after it. It's humbling and it makes me so full. God is truly truly amazing.
God's timing is funny sometimes.
I also got to lead worship last night at my Recovery class that I'm taking. With all that God is doing in my heart this week and through this class I felt God leading me to do two songs that talked about God being enough. The first song was "This is Our God" from Hillsong. (I mentioned this song in a previous post)
I encouraged them to fall at Jesus' feet and what a beautiful thing it is that we can come to Him as we are.
"Your grace is enough, more than I need"
"I am restored, I am redeemed by Your Spirit I am free"
"I will fall at Your feet, I will fall at Your feet...and I will worship You here"
"Freely You gave it all for us, surrendered Your life upon that cross, Great is the love poured out for all...this is Our God. Lifted on high from death to life, forever our God is glorified Servant and King, rescued the world...this is our God"

God is so good. He has called me to worship Him, to lead in that and be used by Him with my life. I love that during a time where my heart is being refined and torn apart to get at the junk...He is allowing healing and beauty to happen in the midst of the call He has put on my life. It is putting a great confidence in me that God is the controller and that He is capable of using me despite being weak, broken and incapable of holding it together. That is when He gets GREAT glory!
I LOVE IT!
These next couple of weeks are going to be crazy. Crazy good.
Leading worship for Easter services with Aaron, Andy and a big choir...leading worship with Jimmy and a band next Tuesday night down by San Marcos...Kate and I are leading worship for a women's conference just outside of Houston the weekend of the 17th...then a Mom's prayer night for the Stone on the 21st.
whoah.
God is good!!!
SO GOOD!

This Is Our God

This song is touching my soul last night and today. SO good!
"Your grace is enough, more than I need, at Your word I will believe.
I wait for You, draw near again. Let Your Spirit make me new"

Struggle

My friend Kate shared this song with me, and it wrecked me.
I've been getting wrecked out a lot lately...can you tell?!
SO GOOD!
Her friend Jamie Lipe wrote and recorded this song "Struggle". She is on staff at River City House of Prayer in San Antonio...

Here are the lyrics:

I was starting to believe the fear that was slowly crippling me
I was starting to embrace all the many things he told me as if it were the truth
he told me I was weak, that I would fail, that I shouldn't even try
Inadequate, not good enough, lacking so much that I needed to succeed.
Oh God, how could you allow me to dream so big, here I sit vulnerable to all
I just want to be held tight in the arms of security knowing everything will be ok
You've given me abilities and therefore expect a response but God it's a big responsibility
Examination of my heart, it's what you've caused me to do
Now I see how much I've been running.
But no more will I run, no more will I run away from the things you've called me to do
NO
NO more will I sit, crippled with fear, I'm tired of not living

Now to you everyone listening, I want to encourage you.
Don't let fear hold you back from what you know God has called you to do
For you have not been given,
No you have not been given a spirit of fear, not not a spirit of fear
But a spirit of power of love and of a sound mind, so take it and run, take it and run.
Reach for the sky and everything it holds for you
Don't look back to the things I've said you could never be.
Someone great lives inside you just waiting to come out
To be made known, you've gotta choose to make Him known.
Take the time to realize who you are

Don't be quiet, don't be silent now
Don't let fear hold you down
Don't let it steal your life away
For in the end when all has ended and you assess, have no regrets
So now, declare him loud, declare him strong
For he has declared His love for you
Declare Him loud, declare Him strong
For nothing else matters now
Declare Him now, declare Him strong, strong, strong
No more holding back

Earthly Comforts Are Loaned

I read this, this morning, on a blog and it wrecked me.
CH Spurgeon does that to me a lot.
Here is what He says:

"Earthly comforts are loaned. They are not gifts, for all that we possess is God's property. He has only lent them, and what he lends He has a right to take. We hold possessions and friends on a lease that can be terminated at the Supreme Owner's option. Therefore, do not complain when God takes His own. In a world where thorns and briars grow, it is natural that some sharp points will pierce you.
The world swarms with thieves, deceivers, and slanderers, with losses in business, crosses in our expectations, false or fickle friends, and with sickness and death. Little wonder our joys are stolen. Our Master warns that our habitation is not theft-proof. "Do not lay up for yourself treasures on earth, where moth and rust destroy and where thieves break in and steal." (Matt. 6:19)
Beloved, because of these, calamities may be expected, let us be prepared. Hold all things loosely. Hold them as though you did not have them. Look at them as fleeting; never expect them to remain. Never make mortal things your gods. If you do, your heart will be broken when they are taken, and you will cry with Micah, "You have taken away my gods which I made." (Judges 18:24)

Spiritual Inventory

My friend Fabs shared this article today from Apostles Church. It was VERY convicting.
It's taking a spiritual inventory of your life and asking some hard questions....here are the questions that the author and pastor JR Vassar, wrote:

Do I love Jesus with a demonstrable love? Is there anything or anyone that I love more deeply than Jesus or pursue more intensely than Jesus?

Do I look forward to spending time with Jesus in the Scriptures and in prayer? Do I miss out on other things to spend time with Him?

Am I regularly discovering new things in the Word of God that impact my daily life?

Do I sincerely desire and intend to obey God in every area of my life? Do I sincerely desire purity of heart, mind and body?

Do I sense the Holy Spirit's presence in my life leading me and strengthening me? (If He were to leave my life, would I sense a great loss?)

Do I sincerely confess my sins to God with a broken heart? When did I last weep over sin in my life?

Is there anything in my life I am hiding from others that I am afraid will be exposed?

Is there anything in my life right now that I know displeases God, but I am not willing to repent of?

Do I spontaneously and whole-heartedly give thanks to God for saving me by His grace?

Do I give my resources regularly and sacrificially to see God's purposes for this world fulfilled?

Is my life marked more by thanksgiving or by complaining and criticizing?

Do I sincerely love others and seek their good as passionately as I seek my own? Am I as patient and forgiving toward others' failures as I am toward my own?

Do I show genuine humility toward others? When have I recently sacrificed my time and money for the good of others?

Am I able to admit when I am wrong and able to say to others, "I am sorry, please forgive me." Or, am I slow to admit failure and do I make excuses for my behavior?

Have I forgiven others the wrong done to me? Or, do I have bitterness toward others who have wronged me?

Am I currently grieving the Holy Spirit with unloving attitudes and harmful actions toward others?

Do I truly desire for my friends to know Jesus and honor him with their lives? Do I earnestly pray for His increased fame and renown in my city?

"Are You Sleeping"

This has got to be one of the cutest things ever.
My sweet Max grunting a tune.
LOVE IT!
My favorite part is the last line that he does. At the end it sort of sounds like he does a "hey"!
So cute.
Check it out on my sister's blog.

Proverbs 3

I was reading Proverbs 3 this morning and looked up the Message translation to read how they put it...and I loved this :

Trust God from the bottom of your heart; don't try and figure out everything on your own. Listen for God's voice in everything you do, everywhere you go; he's the one who will keep you on track. Don't assume that you know it all. Run to God! Run from evil! Your body will glow with health, your very bones will vibrate with life! Honor God with everything you own; give him the first and the best. Your barns will burst, your wine vats will brim over. But don't, dear friend, resent God's discipline; don't sulk under his loving correction. It's the child he loves that God corrects; a father's delight is behind all of this.

Limited Edition Print Being Sold to Support Adoption

Check this out and do something, this is taken off of my friend Bush's website:

For one week only my photograph, ‘The Only Magic I Still Believe In Is Love’ , is being sold on a website called www.wallblank.com. Wall Blank is donating 100% of the proceeds in order to support the wonderful ministry of Abba Fund. Abba Fund is a ministry that helps people adopt by offering them interest-free loans. The cost of Adoption can be overwhelming, but Abba Fund is there to help people like yourself and I in this process. Abba Fund makes it possible for people to make an incredible difference in the life of a child through adoption.

If you have a heart for adoption and a heart for helping…now’s your chance. go right now to www.wallblank.com and PURCHASE a limited edition print of ‘The Only Magic I Still Believe In Is Love’. They are only printing 150 prints and selling them for $25.00. Get yours while they last. After they are sold out there won’t be anymore printed anytime soon. I won’t receive any money from these prints. Maris and I simply believe in Adoption, and we want to do all we can to help other families experience this tremendous joy. These prints could raise $3,750 for Abba Fund. Let’s get this done!!!

“This world is a dark and broken place. It is full of hurt and dying people that are imprisoned by the merciless enemy of poverty. Wars, hate, racism, religion, hunger, poverty, and greed encompass a fallen world full of fallen men. There is a lack of faith, hope, and love. There is a need for restoration and renewal. There is a need for justice and change. Many live as if there is nothing left to hope in. Many live as if there is nothing left good to believe in. I have to believe that there is good left in people. I have to believe that we can make a difference. I have to believe that we can bring change to this broken world. I have to believe in justice. I have to believe that there is hope. I have to believe in love.”

Turn Your Eyes

Turn your eyes upon Jesus
Look full in His wonderful face
And the things on earth will grow strangely dim
In the light of His glory and grace

Waiting

This is stirring my soul this afternoon... SO good!!

"If we imagine happiness to be found in furious pursuit, we will end up in a rage at the unsatisfying results. If on the other hand we set ourselves to pursue the wise and loving and holy will of our heavenly father, we will find that happiness comes-quietly, in unexpected ways, and surprisingly often as the by-product of sacrifice. Waiting is a form of suffering-the difficulty of self restraint, the anguish of unfulfilled longing, the bewilderment of unaswered prayer, flesh and heart failing, soul breaking.
These are indeed tribulations, and tribulation is the curriculum if we are to learn patience. We want answers now, right now, but we are required at times to walk in darkness. Nevertheless, God is in the darkness. (psalm 62:5) In him alone lie our security, our confidence, our trust. A spirit of restlessness and resistance can never wait, but one who believes he is loved with an everlasting love and knows that underneath are the everlasting arms will find strength and peace. God is the waiting."
--Elisabeth Elliot

You'll Come

I'm loving this song...by the one and only Brooke Fraser. (my favorite)

I have decided
I have resolved
To wait upon you Lord
My rock and redeemer
Shield and reward
I'll wait upon the Lord

As surely as the sun will rise
You'll come to us
Certain as the dawn appears

You'll come
Let Your glory fall as You respond to us
Spirit rain
Flood into our thirsty hearts again
You'll come
You'll come

We are not shaken
We are not moved
We wait upon You Lord
Mighty deliverer
Triumph and truth
We wait upon the Lord

Chains be broken
Lives be healed
Eyes be opened
Christ is revealed

Afternoon Walk

I went for my afternoon walk to the post office for work...it is BEAUTIFUL out today. I really want the afternoon off. I want to sit in the sun. Take a nap. Read a book. Listen to my ipod. Pray. Work gets in the way of so much outside goodness. :(
I took this pic. Everything is SO green and then you have this splash of purple. I LOVE it!

Haitian Creations

I bought the cutest bag. It's from Haitian Creations. These bags are made from the hands of some of the most beautiful women in Haiti! This organization is amazing. They have several programs from pre-natal classes to sewing classes. It offers jobs so that these women can take care of themselves and their families.
Go check out these bags and buy one.

Goodness.

God is good!
Yesterday was an amazing day at church. I am humbled that I get to be a small part of what God is doing at Austin Stone, to see His hand and experience the Spirit moving powerfully in that place...it's incredible.
I had the privilege of getting to sing with Mr. Todd Agnew. It was awesome.
Here was the set list:

Hosanna (Hillsong)
Here I Am to Worship
Reign in Us (Starfield)
Jeff Mangum-preached
communion---You are Good (Todd Agnew)
Amazing Grace (Tomlin's version)

Jeff Mangum preached and completely NAILED it. Man...it was good. You'll have to podcast it. I could sense the Spirit moving and God releasing a lot of bondage and giving sweet freedom in that place. He talked about letting the resurrection power that comes from Jesus break us and give us newness. He talked about how it was completely possible to sit at church, be moved by the Spirit, sing worship songs, lead groups but never be completely changed by the resurrection power of Jesus. There needs to be a sweet brokenness when we start dealing with junk in our lives and when we submit to His discipline. It's crappy and hard...but necessary to get from ugly to beautiful.
After Jeff's message we had communion. I love communion. For so long in my life it had been a "ritual". Something that you just go through the motions with.
But it has turned into something so beautiful for me, reflecting on Jesus and what was done at the cross...His body...His blood.
We sang this song during communion called You Are Good. It was a song that Todd wrote...on Wednesday. Who does that?! He was thinking and praying about songs for communion and it just came out. It was incredible and COMPLETELY GOD. We sang this song over them as they took communion and reflected on the cross. Here are the lyrics:

This cup of suffering is so sweet
Sweeter than all this world offers me
The nails, pierced Your hands and Your feet
Your blood spilled so we could taste and see
Taste and see that You are good
You are good, You are good

You are good
More precious than silver, sweeter than wine
You are good
Righteous, mercy, and justice divine
Oh, You are good

Man...it was powerful. I'm thinking a lot about yesterday and I am amazed at God's goodness. I know He is good, when I think on that...He always shows me more, allows me to experience this more. I'm truly humbled and thankful.

All My iPhone Peeps...please respond!

I'm taking the plunge. After work today I will be boarding the iphone train.
I'm real excited! Everyone that I have talked to about this says that "my life will never be the same".
wow.
So...what I need from y'all is anything helpful for useful I need to know about this guy (iphone).
What apps do you love and what apps do I absolutely need?
Let me know. I need any useful information you can give me!

I Freak Out Sometimes

I find myself freaking out sometimes when I'm asked to lead worship.
That might sound silly...because that's what I do. I lead worship. I believe that it is what God has called me to do. In my imperfectness...in my weakness...in my inability to do it...He calls me to do it. Crazy.
I'm ok when I'm singing on Sundays with the bands it's mostly when I'm asked to LEAD lead worship. Like...the actual one doing the leading...that I start freaking out. I start battling all of the lies that satan likes to feed me.
God keeps giving me opportunities to lead. It's crazy. I'm being stretched and it's good. God is ALWAYS glorified and He ALWAYS shows up and does amazing things in worship when I say "yes" to these opportunities. It is NOT me.
I'm not the best at it...I make mistakes...I'm not the best musician...but God does something and allows people to hear what HE wants them to hear. It's powerful. God is truly GLORIFIED in our smallness.
Anyway...I was thinking about all of that this morning and I came in to my email to a Spurgeon devo that was AMAZING! I love how God works.
Here it is...

Despise Not Thy Youth

"Then said I, Ah, Lord God! Behold I cannot speak; for I am a child. But the Lord said unto me, Say not, I am a child: for thou shalt go to all that I shall send thee, and whatsoever I command thee thou shalt speak." (Jeremiah 1:6-7)

Jeremiah was young and felt a natural shrinking when sent upon a great errand by the Lord; but He who sent him would not have him say, "I am a child". What he was in himself must not be mentioned but lost in the consideration that he was chosen to speak for God. He had not to think out and invent a message nor to choose an audience: he was to speak what God commanded and speak where God sent him, and this he would be enabled to do in strength not his own. Is it not so with some young preacher or teacher who may read these lines? God knows how young you are and how slender are your knowledge and experience; but if He chooses to send you, it is not for you to shrink from the heavenly call. God will magnify Himself in our feebleness. If you were as old as Methuselah, how much would your years help you? If you were as wise as Solomon, you might be equally as willful as he. Keep you to your message, and it will be your wisdom; follow your marching orders, and they will be your discretion.

Wild Ward Women Weekend!

It's official....the tickets are bought....the personalized google desktop countdown has started....
74 days until the Wild Ward Women Weekend...in AUSTIN!!!!
That's right...
My mom and both of my sisters are boarding a plane and flying to Austin to visit me!!!
I am SO SO SO excited.
It's going to be legendary. LEGENDARY!!!

Happy Birthday Mom!

Happy Birthday sweet Mama!!! I love you!!

Beautiful Mess

It's only Wednesday. Yesterday I was saying...It's only Tuesday.
It's been a rough week. Not gonna lie. It's been a beautiful mess.
Monday was actually fabulous. Then...not sure what happened after that. I thought Mondays were supposed to be rough and then get better from there. hmmm...
But even in the midst of poopiness, yeah...I said it...poopiness...I have been praying that God would ease my heart and that He would get rid of myself. Just take me away completely so that all I can see is HIM. It's beautiful.
God's timing is so sweet. He puts people in my life at just the right time to encourage me, pray for me, hug me, make me laugh. It's amazing.
We also had our monthly prayer meeting last night with Austin Stone. Chris, Jimmy and I led worship together and it was an incredible night. People went after it. It's a time of worship and prayer all mixed in with each other with communion at the end. It's a beautiful night. What perfect timing too. It was much needed to get on my face at His feet.
Jen shared this verse with me and, again, was fitting and perfect timing and God knew I needed to hear it. I love how the amplified bible puts it...

2 Corinthians 4:16-18
Therefore we do not become discouraged (utterly spiritless, exhausted, and wearied out through fear). Though our outer man is [progressively] decaying and wasting away, yet our inner self is being [progressively] renewed day after day.
For our light, and momentary affliction (this slight distress of the passing hour) is ever more and more abundantly preparing and producing and achieving for us an everlasting weight of glory [beyond all measure, excessively surpassing all comparisons and all calculations, a vast and transcendent glory and blessedness never to cease!]
Since we consider and look not to the things that are seen but to the things that are unseen; for the things that are visible are temporal (brief and fleeting), but the things that are invisible are deathless and everlasting.

My Eyes on the Goal

Philippians 3:12-14
"I'm not saying that I have this all together, that I have it made. But I am well on my way, reaching out for Christ, who has so wondrously reached out for me. Friends, don't get me wrong: By no means do I count myself an expert in all of this, but I've got my eye on the goal, where God is beckoning us onward-to Jesus. I'm off and running, and I'm not turning back."

Twitter

It's ridiculous, but I'm doing it. I've joined the Twitter club. You can follow me @emilyward527

Compassion & Haiti

My friends Aaron Ivey and Steven Bush (from the band I sing with at church) are heading to Haiti today to spend the week with Compassion International, learning about what is going on in this country. Aaron and Bush have a huge heart for Compassion and for Haiti. As they travel and share their music, they also get a chance to share about what God is doing around the world through this organization and in the lives of these precious children. It's pretty amazing.
Follow their blogs and Twitter to hear about their week. Pray for them. Encourage them.

BLOG & TWITTER LINKS:
Bush Blog: http://stevenbush.org/
Bush Twitter:http://twitter.com/stevenbush
Ivey Blog:http://aaronivey.com/
Ivey Twitter:http://twitter.com/aaronivey

Fuzzy Ball Chair

I saw this picture on a blog this morning and decided that I just might need it. It's pretty obnoxious. But as soon as I saw it I got real sleepy. Can you imagine curling up into that chair and taking a nap?! It's a fuzzy ball chair. I love it.

My "Long" Hair

ok...so it's long for me, and there is a lot of it. It's at an awkward stage where I can't really put it up, but it gets hot. I'm going to try and keep going. We'll see how long I can get it before I chop it all off.