New Website

Hello friends!
I have a new website/blog for your enjoyment!  Please update your links/rss feeds/google readers  etc.

www.emilywardmusic.blogspot.com 

Explore a bit and learn more about me, listen to some great music by my friends and read about my ministry at the Austin Stone Community Church.
My prayer for this website is that you are blessed and that it can be a resource of encouragement to you. Would love any feedback from you and would love for you to share this with those who will be blessed by what God is doing through me and my ministry.  So thankful for all of your support.
You are loved!

This is My Life

Why do I blog?
Why do I say the things I say?
Why do I share the things I share?
God has given me a voice. A heart to be real and raw.
I'm not ok. You are not ok. And we need to be ok with that.
So will I share what I'm struggling with? yes, with boundaries.
Will I share what I'm sad about? yes, with boundaries.
Will I share what I'm rejoicing about? yes, with boundaries.
Will I share the hope that I have found in this? yes, with no boundaries.
I love writing and I feel like it's a way for me to express myself and for me to process sometimes. If by doing so, one person is blessed, it's worth it. To know you are not walking alone and someone else goes through the same struggles...there is a part of freedom that happens.
I feel like God has called me to this place.
Read this blog if you want.
Don't read if it's too much for you.
This is me and this is my life.

Read Some Books

I am NOT a reader...but I love books. I have so many books it's ridiculous considering I probably have only read a few of them in their entirety.
Anyway, I'm on a book kick again and here are some books that you should check out:

A Praying Life by Paul E. Miller
Forgotten God by Francis Chan
You Can Change by Tim Chester
In the Name of Jesus by Henri Nouwen
Future Grace by John Piper

My Insides Go Crazy

I love music. I love dancing. I love singing.
I love that you can feel something through these things that you would never be able to experience apart from what you can feel and experience through music, or dance, or singing. Does that make sense?
A story is told through a dance...watching this with the music that is put to it...allows you to experience this feeling at a whole new depth than if someone were to just tell you the story.
Maybe that is the artist in me.
Take a look at this video from one of my favorite shows "So You Think You Can Dance". This choreography is brilliant and I feel like it captures what I am trying to say. I watch this and every part of my insides just go crazy. There is just something so amazing and beautiful when you can convey something so powerful through music and through dance. (maybe I'm supposed to be a dancer, deep down inside me somewhere...I'm pretty sure of it.)
Watch the video here

Funky Town part 2

God is funny.
I mean seriously...He makes me smile when He works in ways I don't get.
If y'all read my last post, you know that I have been living in Funky Town for awhile. I'm still visiting...but with different eyes.
I wrote that post on Saturday and I knew that when Sunday came...I would be standing in front of thousands, leading worship. To be completely honest I thought to myself...how in the world am I going to stand up there and lead? I don't even want to get out of bed!
God in His graciousness reminded me to come as I am. Broken. Needy. A mess. Completely helpless. He grabbed my heart and led me to a place on Saturday where I just let go. I surrendered and gave up. Seeing that He still deserves to be worshiped no matter what state I'm in. He meets me where I'm at, He wants me where I'm at, He just wants me...funk and all.
Sunday came and I walked up on that stage praying this as we led worship:

God this is You.
This is not me.
I have nothing to give.
You said to come as I am.
Here I am.
Thank You. Thank You for calling me to this, for calling me in the middle of my heart being a mess, for calling me to come to You and worship You...

...O sovereign God, O matchless King
the saints adore, the angels sing...
And fall before the throne of grace
To you belongs all highest praise...
These sufferings, this passing tide
under your wings I will abide...
And every enemy shall flee
You are my hope and victory...
To the valley for my soul
Thy great descent has made me whole...
Your word my heart has welcomed home
And peace like water ever flows...

Thank you for Your peace.
Thank You for giving me hope and victory.
I praise you Father, praise the Son, praise the Spirit three in one.

....Let mercy fall on me....
Everyone needs forgiveness the kindness of a Savior...
So take me as you find me
All my fears and failures
Come fill my life again...
I give my life to follow
Everything I believe in...
Now I surrender....
....Shine Your light and let the whole world see...
We're singing for the glory of the risen King...

Lord I come to you as I am.
Use me and fill me up so that it is ALL YOU.
I lift my hands in surrender to You.
All my fears.
All my failures.
All of me...take me.
May I shine for You, may these people shine for You Jesus.
Open their hearts and let them shine for Your glory.

...We were once your enemy...
now displayers of your mercy
Called from darkness into light...
...for the hopeless and the weary
For the broken and the needy...
For Your glory, send Your Spirit and let it rise...

God You have called me out of darkness...
given me hope in the light...
to shine for You in the hopeless, weary and broken places...
it's for YOUR glory.

...arrested by your truth and righteousness
Your grace has overwhelmed my brokenness...
convicted by your spirit led by your word...
Your love will never fail
Your love will never fail...
...You loved a people underserving...

I'm covered by Your righteousness and Your grace.
Your love will never leave me.
Your love will never fail me.
I am undeserving...but You loved and You gave.
Thank You.
Thank You.
Thank You.
Thank You.

...filled with wonder, awestruck wonder
At the mention of Your name....

I'm in awe of You Jesus.
In awe.

...I know that You're alive
You came to fix my broken life...
And I'll sing to glorify Your holy name...
Jesus Christ...
...You changed it all You broke down the wall when I spoke and confessed
In You I am blessed now I walk in the light, the victorious sight of You...

The light of You, is the light in me.
This is You.
Not me.
Thank You for picking up my pieces and putting them back together again.
You fix and You heal.
I sing and glorify YOU.
Thank You for singing through me.
You give more than I deserve.
Thank You.

Jeff Mangum gave the message and you should listen to it. It was VERY fitting. By the end of the day I had a smile on my face despite the fact that it was 105 degrees outside and the air conditioning all day wasn't working... I was a hot stinky mess.
I had a smile on my face because God allowed the week that I had. He walked me through a valley that needed to be walked through in order to experience Him the way I did on Sunday. He filled me up and I walked away that night with a confidence in Him. All day long, each service I felt these songs and these prayers being moved by the Spirit. It was so intense. I'm thankful. So thankful.
What I'm not saying is that the funk is miraculously over. It's not. I wish...but it's not. It seems as though I have different eyes in the funk. There are greater purposes here. I'm believing in that.

Songs:
Praise the Father, Praise the Son by Chris Tomlin
Mighty to Save by Hillsong
Rise & Shine by Andy Melvin
To Know Your Name by Hillsong
Revelation Song by Kari Jobe
Fire Fall Down by Hillsong

Funky Town

To be completely honest. I'm struggling. Once again I have found myself in a funk. I feel like this is a familiar place to me. I get here often and I get real frustrated about that.
I start to close myself off and I can't stop sleeping, I kind of just want to give up and I don't care...anyone know what I'm talking about?!
I have a feeling I'm not alone in this.
I cry a lot. I don't really want to be around people I don't know...even hard to be around people I do know. I'm tired.
But this is what I know. Jesus hasn't changed. My emotions and everything in me changes but HE hasn't changed.
He never, not even once, looks at me and says, "girl...you crazy. I'm out."
I'm so thankful for that. SO thankful.
I think about how this week has been up and down and how on numerous occasions I've wanted to turn my back and just walk (more like run) as fast away as I can. But He stops me and somehow lovingly reels me back in.
I will walk forward...continue taking steps...even if it looks like rolling out of bed and lying on the floor for a little bit...I will continue to worship Him.
I will stand and lead in the state that I'm in because He takes me as I am and He still is to be worshiped. In my weakness HE is strong. There is nothing in me that can do this. But HE can.
I just happened to listen to this song this morning by Kari Jobe, it's called My Beloved.
It pretty much wrecked me out and I can't stop listening to it...then I decided that I needed to learn how to play it.
Then I decided to record it for y'all to hear it.
Disclaimer: I'm a mess & it's rough.
I can hear God singing this to me over and over and over and over...
Here are the lyrics:

You're My beloved your My bride
To sing over you is My delight
Come away with Me My love

Under My mercy come and wait
Till we are standing face to face
I see no stain on you My child

You're beautiful to Me
So beautiful to Me

I sing over you My song of peace
Cast all your cares down at My feet
Come and find your rest in Me

I breathe My life inside of you
I'll bear you up on eagle's wings
And hide you in the shadow of My strength
I'll take you to My quiet waters
I'll restore your soul
Come rest in me and be made whole

You're My beloved your My bride
To sing over you is My delight
Come away with Me My love

THE Texas Roadhouse Song

I need to post this video...many of you requested it a LONG time ago...and now it's finally here.
When I went back home to Iowa to visit my family there was a certain incident in the car ride. My mom and my sisters had an art show in Minneapolis and so my bro-in-law Joe drove us.
All adults...no kids...equals crazy.
I feel slightly sorry for Joe having to deal with us girls. But whatevs. He likes it deep down inside.
When my mom and sisters and I get together things get silly.
This particular incident happened after our fabulous meal at Texas Roadhouse. (I LOVE BUNS)
This may not be funny at all, so sorry if you find it ridiculous.
My mom also would like everyone to know that she in fact did NOT pee her pants...it was just close. (yeah right) Enjoy!

Oh My...It's Been WAY Too Long

Oh my.
I am a SLACKER!!! I can't believe how long it has been since I have blogged.
This could mean several things....
That I'm entirely WAY too busy...or
That I'm entirely WAY too lazy...
or both. :)
Probably a little of both.
I have probably lost most of my readers...but I'm going to turn this back around. I'm going to start fresh.
I think about all that has happened since May 3 (that was my last post...WOW!) and I get a little overwhelmed thinking about updating you all on EVERYTHING!
I'm going to try and be better at this. I'll try and fill you in little by little on all the craziness and get back to sharing life with y'all.
I'll leave you with two (out of six) of my precious little ones. I miss them all. I need them. Now.Can you even handle this?! Ok. Max dimples I can't even handle. Lily princess, oh my heart.

Thanks all you loyal readers for hanging in with me...if you still read this give a shout out to let me know you are still there...and that I should keep this going!

10 Days & the Spoiling Starts

According to my personalized google desktop countdown I have 10 days until I get to see & kiss these faces...

MAX:

SAM:WILL:

NOAH:

LILY MARGARET:

JACKSON:

I LOVE LOVE LOVE being an aunt. They will get hugs and kisses and I will spoil them. (you too Jack!) It will happen...and their parents will have to deal with it. 2 weeks of spoiling. :)

Arms Open Wide

I have been listening to this song over and over.
I went to the Hillsong United concert last weekend and they played this song. It was my first time hearing it and I was moved to surrender. I LOVE it!
Here are the lyrics:

Take my life I lay it down
At the cross where I am found
All I have I give to You oh God

Take my hands and make them clean
Keep my heart in purity
That I may walk in all You have for me

Oh here I stand
Arms open wide
Oh I am Yours
And You are mine

Take my moments and my days
Let each breath that I take
Be ever only for You oh God

My whole life is Yours
I give it all
Surrendered to Your name
And forever I will pray
Have Your way
Have Your way

Internship

I've been eager to write this and share with the blog world for awhile now...it has been in the works and it's getting more and more official!

I have accepted a full time internship at my church (The Austin Stone Community Church) and I am extremely excited about this. Excited and scared all at the same time.
It has all happened so quick and is something that I have felt the Lord's hand on, undoubtedly. When I think of this opportunity, I am amazed that it is happening. I get to do music. I get to do ministry. I get to love on people. I get to be creative. This will be my job. WHAT?!?!?!

For the last 9 years of my life I have done office work. I go to work at 8, I sit at a desk and answer phones, make copies, three hole punch papers and I leave at 5. It starts all over again the next day.
God has done AMAZING things in those 9 years. He has stretched and challenged me in so many ways. I have not arrived at any of it...but I'm thankful for those years of pushing through and butting heads with what I don't feel I'm created to do well. I am NOT good at organization and administration! (funny right?!) But it hasn't stopped God from doing amazing things over the years.

I'm thankful that God opened the door to be able to sing and lead worship at the Stone. God's hand was all over that opportunity and it was nothing that I did. It was completely HIM. I have been humbled, stretched, affirmed & challenged in these last two years. I can only imagine what He is about to do this next year.
To be completely honest it scares me.
I'm leaving a lot of comfort zones.
My job, my financial security, a mundane structure & knowing what each day will look like (to a degree), the "normal".

The day that I gave my life to Jesus, on April 7, 1997 at a Steven Curtis Chapman concert, I prayed that God would give me a story. That He would use me how He wanted to use me and that He would give me a story that was all about HIM. Knowing that He had it already planned out, I was confident that what He wanted to do in my life was bring Him much glory.
He is faithful and He answers prayers. Prayers that are prayed BIG and BOLDLY and in HIS name. He has taken me through a lot. He answers in ways that I would not expect, but He knows best and I'm thankful.

This next step for me is part of this story. I'm humbled that He has chosen me, that He has called me and that He has opened this door and said, "Follow Me". I have NO clue what is through those doors, but I'm starting to get a taste and it's GOOD and it's HARD.
My mom wrote this in a note she sent me and it said simply, "Hard is good."
Ok. yeah. Help my unbelief God!
1 Thessalonians 5:24 "The One who has called you is faithful and He will do it."
I'm trusting Him, some days better than others. But He is asking me daily, "Do you trust me?"

One thing that I am trusting Him with is fundraising.
I have to raise support financially to be able to work full time for a year.
I found out last week that I have to have 80% of my funds in before I can start the internship.
That is a whole lot of money in not a lot of time.
My last day of work is May 14.
My orientation is June 2nd.
Deep...breath...
I have a ways to go.
God can do this. It may mean that I don't start exactly when I had planned to start. Our plans are quite different than His plans sometimes.
Job 10:5 (Job to God) "Unlike us, You are not working against a deadline, You have all eternity to work things out."

It's crazy. Last week was a horrible week. I spent a lot of time in tears and in doubt. BUT God at the same time had His hand on me and I could feel a calm and a peace. I was still a mess...but there was a peace.
This week has been so much better...I have my moments. But God is revealing more of my heart and more of His heart. I so badly want to beat the same.
I have seriously been going non-stop for the last two weeks and I don't see an end until next week sometime. I'm exhausted. But full.

So that is my life lately. Just thought I would fill you in on the craziness...for those who even read this thing!

Things that Make Me Smile

Walking with Whitney:

**Whit came with me to Breakaway & we walked around the George Bush Library**

Pretty Flowers:**Our walk was beautiful!**

Bridges:

**Reminds me of God's faithfulness**

BedHead:

**Not sure how my hair does this in the mornings.**

the Scorcher:

**random carnie rides w Ginger**

Giving the Thumbs Up:**the scorcher definitely deserved a thumbs up.**

Frightened/Excited/What are we doing...we're old faces:**Our response to the Scorcher**

My Quiet Time Place:**peaceful, solitude, Jesus**

Chocolate:**My nephew Max up on the counter getting chocolate from on top of the fridge. STINKER!**

Beat Boxing:

**My Goal in life is to learn how to beat box.**

Well...I Made The News

Well. I made the news. I'm not proud.
Here's the video. My car makes it's appearance around 1:53

Two More Things about Getting Pulled Over

I would like to add to my previous post 2 things...

1. when I realized that I was getting pulled over I panicked and said, "mom...i'm gonna let you go I'm getting pulled over" and then just hung up on her.
I should probably call her back.

2. When the motorcycle cop came up to my window I remembered thinking about how huge his helmet was & how ridiculous it looked. Then visions of "Grandma Cop" came in my mind. For those of you who are not familiar with "Grandma Cop" let me fill you in...there was a certain incident with my mom and a toy motorcycle helmet. Let me just show you a little video...


Thank you.

So...I just Got Pulled Over

So this really happened.
I just got pulled over for talking to my mama on the phone in a school zone. During the prime time of everyone picking up their kids from school. And to top it all off...there was a whole news crew there documenting the entire thing. Not gonna lie...there were some words that came out of my mouth that probably made all the kids around me cry.
When the cop went back to his motorcycle to write down all of my information...the news team, camera included, ran across the street towards me...are you kidding me?!....no.
This was our conversation:

News Lady: "I realize that this isn't the most opportune time..."
Me: "I don't want to be on the news."
News Lady: "...but can we ask you a few questions."
Me: "I don't want to be on the news."
News Lady: "Are you sure? We just..."
Me: "I don't want to be on the news."
News Lady: "...want to ask you if you knew about the law."
Me: "I don't want to be on the news."

Then they left and then the cop came back and gave me a ticket for talking on my cell phone and two warnings...one for a brake light out and one for still have my old address on my license.

Can this day be over?

Let Hope Rise

What a beautiful Easter Sunday! I can't even begin to describe how powerful and good God is.
My day started out leading worship in the PAC (performing arts center). We usually have a PAC service during our 11:15 since that is our most crowded service. We have a live band, and a video feed of the message. Since it was Easter, we did the PAC for both of our morning services. And cause things get crazy.
I had the privilege to lead with Mr. Todd Agnew and the guys from Andy Melvin's band. SO fun!
Then I came back in the evening to lead with the Aaron Ivey band and the choir for the last two services. Oh.my.Word. Amazing. It was seriously a party. When the choir joins us...it's just a whole new level.
The thing is...when you strip away all of that...the bands...the choir...the preacher...you still have Amazingness. You still have Power. You still have Jesus. A man who lived a perfect life & who loved perfectly, who took on my sin and the mess of the entire world so that we didn't have to take the punishment that we so deserved, so that we could have a relationship with Him and so that we could spend eternity with Him. One day I will rise to be with Christ. I will rise because He has risen.
This prayer was read during the service from Valley of Vision:

My Father,
Enlarge my heart, warm my affections, open my lips,
supply words that proclaim "Love lustres at Calvary'.
There grace removes my burdens and heaps them on thy Son,
made a transgressor, a curse, and sin for me;
There the sword of thy justice smote the man, thy fellow;
There thy infinite attributes were magnified, and infinite atonement was made;
There infinite punishment was endured.
Christ was all anguish that I might be all joy,
cast off that I might be brought in,
trodden down as an enemy
that I might be welcomed as a friend,
surrendered to hell's worst
that I might attain heaven's best,
stripped that I might be clothed,
wounded that I might be healed,
athirst that I might drink,
tormented that I might be comforted,
made a shame that I might inherit glory,
entered darkness that I might have eternal light.
My Savior wept that all tears might be wiped from my eyes,
groaned that I might have endless song,
endured all pain that I might have unfading health,
bore a thorned crown that I might have a glory-diadem,
bowed his head that I might uplift mine,
experienced reproach that I might receive welcome,
closed his eyes in death that I might gaze on unclouded brightness,
expired that I might for ever live.

BEAUTIFUL JESUS.
Here is an amazing video that was also played at the end of the message. We then went into the song "with everything". LET HOPE RISE!!

Let Hope Rise from The Austin Stone on Vimeo.

Things that Make Me Smile

Picture notes:

*my friend Ro sent this to me one day.*

Singing, making music and worshiping my Creator:

*Andy Melvin Band*

The loveliness of a flower in my margarita:

*Vivo's TexMex has AMAZING margaritas. Cool Vibe.*

Dance Parties:

*My sweet love, Lily Margaret is taking a dance class and she calls them her "dance party"*

Purple Flowers:

*my walk to the post office for work*

The smell of old books:

*my 1970's version of Valley of Vision*

Rug Rats:

*My nephew Max & my sister Jill. CLASSIC*

Fullness

'Fullness' from Valley of Vision:

Heavenly Father,
Thou hast revealed to me myself as a mass of sin,
and Thyself as the fullness of goodness,
with strength enough to succour me,
wisdom enough to guide me,
mercy enough to quicken me,
love enough to satisfy me.
Thou hast shown me that because thou art mine
I can live by thy life,
be strong in thy strength,
be guided by thy wisdom;
and so i can pitch my thoughts and heart in thee.
This is the exchange of wonderful love -
for me to have thee for myself,
and for thee to have me, and to give me thyself.
There is in thee all fullness of the good I need,
and the fullness of all grace to draw me to thyself,
who else could never have come.
But having come, I must cleave to thee,
be knit to thee,
always seek thee.
There is none all good as thou art:
With thee I can live without other things,
for thou art God all-sufficient,
and the glory, peace, rest, joy of the world
is a creaturely, perishing thing in comparison to thee.
Help me to know that he who hopes for nothing but thee,
and for all things only for thee, hopes truly,
and that I must place all my happiness in holiness,
if I hope to be filled with all grace.
Convince me that I can have no peace at death,
nor hope that I should go to Christ,
unless I intend to do his will
and have his fullness while I live.

Things that Make Me Smile

Freckles:

**My nephew Noah**

Jimmy Johns for lunch:

**My friend Whitney brought me lunch today**

Messy Cheetos lips:

**My nephew Max**

Listening to live music:

**with my sweet Ani**

African Dancing:

**precious Ugandan children that I want to keep forever**

Picnics on the trampoline:

**with my sweet Staci**

Rockstars in training:

**Deacon Ivey...the son of Rockstar Aaron Ivey**

Amy's Ice Cream & Jesus Convos:

**with my sweet Faith**

A Good Kick in the Pants.

So I have this friend. She is amazing.
She gets me.
We break out into a crazy dance when we see each other & get weird looks from people, but it doesn't matter.
She has great fashion. She is absolutely adorable. She loves Jesus with a strong passion. She loves people well. She loves to snuggle. She has a great TX accent. She loves discipleship. She loves food and beer.
She asks me how my heart is and sometimes I don't want to answer. But I do. Then she speaks amazing truth into my life.
Over the last several months we have gotten close. Like, talk everyday...hold each other accountable, ask tough questions kind of close. Like...this is how to live life close.
I'm not quite sure how it happened. I feel humbled and blessed.
Today's convo had something to do with me spilling to her about how I was struggling with my insecurity last night. (this isn't an uncommon thing with me)
I found myself comparing myself to other musicians, wishing that I had songs like that...or sounded like that... feeling prideful, jealous and feeling like I wanted to give up, that I wasn't good enough, that I could never do what I see other people doing.
LIES! insecurity, pride, sin and LIES.
It was ugly people.
This was Ani's response:

"it's hard to not compare. but you can't let yourself go there. for one, you do what you do because god gave you your voice and writing abilities, and two, you sing and write for him and his glory. ems. (she calls me ems and I love it) you are unbelievably talented. but what makes you special is your heart for the lord behind that "raspy" voice of yours. every time you start to think that she is better, or they like her better, or i wish that i had written that, or that my words were like his/hers...you have to stop your thoughts and choose to believe that all that you have is for him and when we try to make it ours we diminish the glory that he could be getting out of it.
pray that the Lord will show you how to see yourself the way HE sees you.
pray that you won't be moved by the praise or rejection of man.
pray that your heart will be content in him alone.
pray that you will rejoice in other's talents, and not compare.
pray that you will be inspired by other artists and musicians, but not made insecure by them.
pray that your security will be found in the fact that your identity is soley in christ. you are not validated by your voice, your talent, your platform, your guitar, your anything.
you are validated because you are a child of the most high god."

uh. who is this?
miss annie hanks being used by my sweet faithful God. Words of truth spoken.
SO thankful. God knew what I need to hear. He is good.
I'm also reading this today
1 Peter 2:9 "But you are the ones chosen by God chosen for the high calling of priestly work, chosen to be a holy people, God's instruments to do his work & speak out for Him to tell others of the night & day difference he made for you, from nothing to something from rejected to accepted."
So good.
Thankful for friends who remind me of truth and who love me to ask hard questions and not be afraid to speak out.
You know I love a little sass too...she's got some sassiness...Love you sweet Ani!

"the Pipes & Pints Brotherhood"

So I have these friends. They are some of the most Godly men I know. They have taught me so much about true character and living out the gospel. I'm SO thankful for them.
They have this thing they like to do called "The Brotherhood" or "Pipes & Pints". It's basically an open ended invitation to any guy who wants to come hang out with a bunch of guys, talk life, talk theology, have some brewskis and smoke pipes. Not gonna lie...I'm a little jealous & sad that girls aren't allowed. I would be right there alongside them with my pipe. (ok...I don't actually have a pipe...but I really want one!)
I may just start my own "Sisterhood".
Anyway...the point of this post.
I came across this OLD picture of my dad and I'm pretty sure he would fit right in with these guys.Love it. Can you imagine?
My dad went to be with Jesus in 1997.
I miss him.
I daydream about him still being here...coming to visit...smoking pipes with my friends, talking photography, art, Jesus.
I miss him.

I Don't Want My Children To Be Happy

I read this amazing post this morning.
READ IT!
A parent writes a letter to their kids explaining why they won't be paying for their college...they are adopting. so good.

I Found My New Best Friend

What in the world is happening?!?!
My friend Angie popped up on facebook chat and said "you will appreciate this" and posted the link to this video.
I almost peed my pants. I appreciate this on so many levels. When he started hittin the high note I about lost all business.
Just sayin'...he would win at the laughing game and I sometimes sing like this for fun. I'm pretty sure he and I would be good friends.

It's Raining Men

Just thought I would share this little gem that my sister just posted on my facebook wall:

"quick story: Noah threw a coat at me and I said, "It's raining coats." Which of course led us to sing the song "It's Raining Men (Hallelujah!)." Which led to Jackson commenting that that was a ridiculous song. Which led to Jill saying, "It needs to rain men in Austin." Which led to Noah saying, "It sure would make it easier for Emily to pick one out."

Thank you.

Noah - my 8 year old nephew
Jackson - my 13 year old nephew
Jill - my 35 year old sister

Verge

Verge Conference. unbelievable. I still think about that weekend and am in awe of what went down. God and His power. God and His glory. SO amazing. I'm still humbled that God allowed me to be a part of leading these people in worship. It was an unbelievable time. To look out and see thousands of people with their hands in the air worshiping the same God. The one and only God.
The session that sticks out in my heart was Francis Chan's message on suffering. Oh my word. Powerful. We got up after the message and sang It Is Well...then How Great thou Art....everyone was done. The room was full of the Spirit and it was so strong. Matt came up and basically said, "I have no idea what to do now...I don't want to just dismiss you to your workshops...if you want to stay...stay." He said that he had never gotten up on stage having absolutely no idea what to do! God knew. He wasn't done yet. All of a sudden people started shouting out names of God, verses, characteristics of God...people from all over the room shouting out at different times. I was in tears. Jimmy was on his face. The choir was clapping and crying. People were worshiping in a way that was unbelievable. God is SO good! For a good 10 minutes this went on...then a guy started reading scripture about God and His name that is above all other names and how His glory goes out we started cheering and clapping...Aaron then sat down and we led The Name...it.was.amazing. I couldn't even sing cause I couldn't stop crying!!
I've never felt the Spirit that strong and the overwhelming feeling of God's love and His power. After that session we went down to the green room and it was completely silent. We all just looked at each other with this look of..."what in the world just happened?" Matt came down and was like "What in the world was that!?" GOD! There was a comment made that was so right "Most conferences go long because the speakers can't stop speaking...but @ Verge it goes long cause the worshipers can't stop worshiping!" YEAH!!!
GOD!
So amazing.
Another powerful time during the conference was when Aaron and the guys got to talk about adoption and Haiti. They have a house tour that they do where they go into homes and put on a concert where they tell stories of adoption and raise awareness and talk about Haiti. It is SO powerful! These guys are amazing and I'm so thankful that they are in my life...along with their wives. My life is seriously blessed. You can watch this segment here. Check it out and be moved.
At some point the video/audio will be available to check out. I seriously would encourage you to check out these messages. Life changing.
If you want to see some fun photos check it out here.
Here are a few of my favorites:
ALL glory and FAME be unto the ONE who REIGNS!!!

One Mission: The Pioneer Woman

So...awhile back, before Christmas, one of my good friends, Joanna, asked me if I would do her a huge favor. The Pioneer Woman had a new cookbook out and she was signing books in Austin, and apparently she is kind of a big deal. Joanna needed me to get a couple of books for her and our friend Kelli. The thing is...I had no idea who the Pioneer Woman was. But I had that night free so I agreed. Then my sisters started making comments on facebook about how the Pioneer Woman was going to be in Austin and how I needed to get her autograph and....to take it to the next level....videotape it all. (they had no idea that Joanna had already asked me about going...and that I had already agreed.) So I played it off with my sisters that I was busy and why would I got stand in line for hours for someone I didn't even know...and so on. My sisters were kidding. (kind of) But I decided to go for it, and I made my friend Wendy do it with me.
So what is funny about this:
I had no idea who the Pioneer Woman was...
I am not a fan of getting autographs.
There were lots of crazy women and hours of standing in line.
BUT...totally worth it.
So I made this little movie for my mom, my sisters and Joanna and Kelli to go along with the cookbooks. I gave my mom & my sisters their video at Christmas. I didn't really have any intentions of putting it out here for all to see. No sleep...no makeup...and my black hair comin' out. I look SO scrappy. sorry.

I would like to just say that I did not tell my fam at all about this until I put in the DVD and pushed play. It started playing and both of my sisters started giggling, breathing funny and making weird noises. THEN as soon as Marlboro Man came on there were screams...blood curdling screams. It was like we were back in the New Kids on the Block days. Then they both moved to the floor right in front of the TV. It was ridiculous. But hilarious.
AND for the record I do have to say that I am now a huge fan of this Pioneer Woman. She is lovely and I think you should all follow her blog.

Verge Live Streaming

Found out tonight that the live streaming of the Verge Conference is also showing the worship! So come and check it out!!!

www.verge2010.org

You don't want to miss this. God is already doing HUGE things!!

VERGE

SO excited!
Tomorrow night is the start of the Verge Conference!! My church is hosting this conference and it's gonna be HUGE! God is stirring and He is preparing His people for something BIG! Most of all I have no doubt that God's glory will be over all of this. In worship, in the speakers, in the breakout sessions, the the time spent alone processing.
Some of the speakers that will be at this conference are Francis Chan, Alan Hirsch, Ed Stetzer, Austin Stone pastor Matt Carter...and a whole bunch of others. I'm so excited to sit under these guys and learn!
I'm humbled to get the opportunity to lead worship with Aaron and the guys for this conference. The setlists are off the chart! It's gonna be sweet!
If you are not coming to the conference but want to check it out, there will be a live feed of the main sessions you can sign up for. It's real easy, just go to the website www.verge2010.org
I'm praying big things over this conference.
AND...some sweet friends from Iowa are coming to the conference! So excited to see them!!

Amos Is Home!

Last weekend AMOS came home!!!! YAY for Team Ivey! Finally together.
So thankful for this family and what they are teaching me about God's love for His children. Thankful for them in my life.
Follow their blogs and get more info and more amazing stories.
Jamie
Aaron
Here is a recent news story:

Here is another one:

God's love is HUGE. I'm seeing that more and more.

My Job Tonight...Pray

i forced myself to stay home tonight, instead of going to the benefit concert. I had my first full day back at work and i feel like I could pass out. Every part of me wanted to say "screw it...I'm going" but I knew that if I were to push myself...I would not get better.
So instead...I sent my roomie with my money and I sit back and read everyone's tweets about how amazing it is and how many people there are. My heart is overjoyed that in just 29 minutes into the benefit over $5,000 was raised and all of it is going to Real Hope for Haiti! YES!
Awesome!
I'm sad at the same time that I can't be a part of it...then I get mad at myself for being so selfish. Why do I really want to be there? To hear good music? To be around a lot of cool people? To say that I was part of something that is changing the world? So that I can tweet about it and say "look how cool it is?" or is it to see God be glorified through His people? To see a need and see it be fulfilled? To see the work of God's people coming together for an amazing cause? To know that thousands of lives will be blessed and even saved because of what is taking place tonight?

Oh that my heart would beat with Yours, God. Thank You that you are turning it to You and breaking it for what breaks Yours.

So i turned off the bachelor and I'm gonna pray. (yeah...you heard that right...the bachelor... I can't STAND that show...but somehow I get sucked in...) I'm gonna pray for tonight. Pray for Haiti and pray for God's NAME to be lifted up and glorified, pray for my brothers and sisters tonight who are speaking a good word.
It's gonna be a good good night!

Amos Story: Music Video

Aaron just released a music video to his song "Amos Story". If you've been on my blog before you probably know their story. I lead worship with Aaron at my church and I have grown to love this family so much! Aaron and Jamie have adopted two kids from Haiti, Story came home a few months ago and Amos is still there. They are fighting hard to get him home. Pray with me that he gets to come home soon. Pray for Haiti as they pick up pieces and try and make sense of what happened w/ the earthquake. Lots of people are hurting and broken right now.
Check out this video and spread the word:

A Little Perspective

As I was getting frustrated tonight thinking about this pressure in my head and how my ears are SO plugged up...I can't hear anything...I went to this blog.
I learned about Varney. He is a little boy who has Hydrocephalus. Which is a disease where you have an abnormal amount of fluid in your brain, causing pressure and your skull to expand. My heart broke. I can't imagine what this little guy is feeling. I can't imagine the pain that he is in. They say that it is the worst case they have ever seen.This puts things into perspective. wow.
God continue to humble me and break down self.

Strep Throat, Haiti and Being Fussy

I get fussy when I'm sick. Especially when I don't get better when I'm supposed to be feeling better.
I went to the Doc. on Tuesday and found out I had strep throat and he put me on Amoxcillian and he gave me some vicadin for the pain. YEAH! oh. sorry. I kinda like that stuff. Yes. I'm in recovery...
Anyway, he said that if I wasn't feeling any better in a few days to let him know...so with 2 full doses of the antibiotic I figured that I should be feeling better...but was not.
Now having 101 temperatures and still incredibly painful to swallow I go back to the doc on Thursday...same guy. He looks in my throat and says it doesn't look any better has the nurse give me an antibiotic shot in the booty...and changes my antibiotic...and gives me more vicadin (which I didn't ask for...I thought he was going to give me a cough syrup...but didn't).
Friday comes along and I'm forcing myself into thinking that I'm feeling better.
Friday night comes and I'm in tears. I'm not feeling better...my ears are now in pain and completely plugged up and I can hear nothing.
My roommate is back, THANKFULLY! She rubbed my back...got me water and hot packs. She's so sweet.
I slept horribly last night, woke up this morning and went to the doc. (3rd time has got to work)
I see a different doctor who wants the low down of the week, I tried re-telling everything I could and here was his response.
"Well, I don't want to bad mouth any of the other doctors...but he should never have switched your antibiotics and he doesn't know what he's doing, the antibiotic you are taking now isn't doing anything."
My throat still looked bad, I now have ear infections and my head is about to explode. ugh.
He put me on a whole new regimen of stuff...I don't even know what it all is...at this point my mind is not working clearly and I'm like, 'whatever'.I do have to say that it's pretty.
He said, in his own words, "You should absa-freaking-lutely be feeling better in 7-10 days."
7-10 days.
great.
I was hoping to feel better tomorrow. So I can sing. But that's not gonna happen. :(

It has not been a fun week.
Everything happening in Haiti has got my heart all a mess.
Everything happening in my body has got my whole self all a mess.
I sometimes think that it's not happening...that in my fever induced weird state of mind...the videos and pictures I'm seeing are just part of a hallucination or a dream.
I wrestle in bed under hot covers but my body is freezing and I turn away from the computer not wanting to think about it. But I realize the reality. There are thousands and thousands of people who can't turn away from this and forget about it. That there are thousands and thousands of people who don't have a bed and covers.
My heart aches. I feel completely helpless. I get even more fussy.
But I do realize that I can stop feeling sorry for myself. There is no reason. I cannot even begin to imagine what those beautiful people are feeling over there.
Keep the people of Haiti in your prayers and don't forget about them. God is doing HUGE things and you don't want to miss it.

Benefit Concert for Haiti

Austin musicians/artists are coming together Monday night to put on a benefit concert for Haiti.
Monday January 18 7pm
Parish downtown Austin
All proceeds will go to Real Hope for Haiti
For more information check out Music For the City

Haiti News Story Featuring the Ivey Family

My heart is breaking for what is happening in Haiti right now.
If you have watched the news you know. 7.0 earthquake hit and thousands and thousands of people are affected.
My good friends the Ivey's were featured on the news tonight talking about their adoption of Story and Amos.
Check it out.

The Hawkeyes Win!!!

I'm so proud of my Hawkeyes! If you didn't know already, they won the Orange Bowl on Tuesday night. YEAH! It was a great game!

Who am I kidding? I didn't watch the game...and because of that I am shunned from my family.
I mentioned something on facebook and got responses from my family that said things like:
"I feel like I don't even know you anymore"
"I thought I raised you better than that"
"You are shunned".
Can you feel the love?!?!
I'm ok with it. I know nothing about sports. I do enjoy watching them, but I am not overly excited about it...like some people I know.

A text conversation from my bro-in-law Joe:
Joe: Shun on.
Me: Oh Whatever!
Joe: Shun off. I mean it. Shun on.
Me: DORK! You can't shun me...it's impossible.
Joe: **silence**
Me: (this morning) Good morning sunshine! You can't stay mad at me forever!
Joe: **silence**

We'll see how long this lasts.

So here is a video that my sister put on her blog of my 2 year old nephew and my other bro-in-law, Damon. SO funny!! This just shows you a small glimpse into the intensity that is my family and sports. Apparently it starts young.

I would like to make a note that Jill DID NOT watch the game, but instead watched the Bachelor on her laptop with her earbuds in...hmmm...I don't see her getting shunned from the family thank you very much. I'm not bitter. Really.
I would also like to say that I really am proud to be an Iowan and a Hawkeye. I even have a hawkeye sticker on my car. Gotta represent down here!

A Few Things...

Oh good gracious. It's been awhile since I've posted.
Welcome to 2010! CRAZINESS!

Here are some bullet points:

--today I've been missing my dad like crazy. I thought about him at lunch today. A friend said something about how unique my eyes were and the thought came across my mind..."what would dad have to say about my eyes." totally random. Then it started a yearning to hear him say "you're beautiful", just to hear his voice again. How would he say it, what words would he say...would he say it? I miss him.

--I'm yearning for God's word. Praying God's word, speaking God's word, memorizing God's word, encouraging with His word...I can't get enough.

--I LOVE worship. I love that I can sit by myself in my room and worship. I love that I can go to the handicap stall at work and throw my hands up in the air when I feel like walking out the doors. I love that I can stand in front of thousands, close my eyes and feel alone with the Lord. I love standing next to some amazing worship leaders and musicians who live out worship not just on stage. I love getting to pray and read and listen and learn. Worship feeds my soul and I'm thankful for freedom.

--I'm trying to do some rough recordings of some of my songs to put on a myspace music page. It's scary. It's like I'm being laid bare right out in front of everyone. It's a little vulnerable. But God is in it and I trust that He will do what He wants with my songs. I'll let you know when I'm ready to "release" it.

--I somehow got talked into running a 5k race in March. There are several things funny about this. #1 I'm NOT a runner. In fact I'm technically on Day 4 of my training program and since...uh...DAY 1 my shins hurt REAL bad. Seriously it's real painful to run/walk. It's making me want to give up. #2 I'm SO out of shape. It's been over a year since I worked out. (some of you are probably thinking...wow. or Gross...or that's not good....or whatever) I blame my weird health issues over the last year...but I also blame laziness.
We'll see how this plays out.

Ok. I'm done for now.