Internship

I've been eager to write this and share with the blog world for awhile now...it has been in the works and it's getting more and more official!

I have accepted a full time internship at my church (The Austin Stone Community Church) and I am extremely excited about this. Excited and scared all at the same time.
It has all happened so quick and is something that I have felt the Lord's hand on, undoubtedly. When I think of this opportunity, I am amazed that it is happening. I get to do music. I get to do ministry. I get to love on people. I get to be creative. This will be my job. WHAT?!?!?!

For the last 9 years of my life I have done office work. I go to work at 8, I sit at a desk and answer phones, make copies, three hole punch papers and I leave at 5. It starts all over again the next day.
God has done AMAZING things in those 9 years. He has stretched and challenged me in so many ways. I have not arrived at any of it...but I'm thankful for those years of pushing through and butting heads with what I don't feel I'm created to do well. I am NOT good at organization and administration! (funny right?!) But it hasn't stopped God from doing amazing things over the years.

I'm thankful that God opened the door to be able to sing and lead worship at the Stone. God's hand was all over that opportunity and it was nothing that I did. It was completely HIM. I have been humbled, stretched, affirmed & challenged in these last two years. I can only imagine what He is about to do this next year.
To be completely honest it scares me.
I'm leaving a lot of comfort zones.
My job, my financial security, a mundane structure & knowing what each day will look like (to a degree), the "normal".

The day that I gave my life to Jesus, on April 7, 1997 at a Steven Curtis Chapman concert, I prayed that God would give me a story. That He would use me how He wanted to use me and that He would give me a story that was all about HIM. Knowing that He had it already planned out, I was confident that what He wanted to do in my life was bring Him much glory.
He is faithful and He answers prayers. Prayers that are prayed BIG and BOLDLY and in HIS name. He has taken me through a lot. He answers in ways that I would not expect, but He knows best and I'm thankful.

This next step for me is part of this story. I'm humbled that He has chosen me, that He has called me and that He has opened this door and said, "Follow Me". I have NO clue what is through those doors, but I'm starting to get a taste and it's GOOD and it's HARD.
My mom wrote this in a note she sent me and it said simply, "Hard is good."
Ok. yeah. Help my unbelief God!
1 Thessalonians 5:24 "The One who has called you is faithful and He will do it."
I'm trusting Him, some days better than others. But He is asking me daily, "Do you trust me?"

One thing that I am trusting Him with is fundraising.
I have to raise support financially to be able to work full time for a year.
I found out last week that I have to have 80% of my funds in before I can start the internship.
That is a whole lot of money in not a lot of time.
My last day of work is May 14.
My orientation is June 2nd.
Deep...breath...
I have a ways to go.
God can do this. It may mean that I don't start exactly when I had planned to start. Our plans are quite different than His plans sometimes.
Job 10:5 (Job to God) "Unlike us, You are not working against a deadline, You have all eternity to work things out."

It's crazy. Last week was a horrible week. I spent a lot of time in tears and in doubt. BUT God at the same time had His hand on me and I could feel a calm and a peace. I was still a mess...but there was a peace.
This week has been so much better...I have my moments. But God is revealing more of my heart and more of His heart. I so badly want to beat the same.
I have seriously been going non-stop for the last two weeks and I don't see an end until next week sometime. I'm exhausted. But full.

So that is my life lately. Just thought I would fill you in on the craziness...for those who even read this thing!