I mean seriously...He makes me smile when He works in ways I don't get.
If y'all read my last post, you know that I have been living in Funky Town for awhile. I'm still visiting...but with different eyes.
I wrote that post on Saturday and I knew that when Sunday came...I would be standing in front of thousands, leading worship. To be completely honest I thought to myself...how in the world am I going to stand up there and lead? I don't even want to get out of bed!
God in His graciousness reminded me to come as I am. Broken. Needy. A mess. Completely helpless. He grabbed my heart and led me to a place on Saturday where I just let go. I surrendered and gave up. Seeing that He still deserves to be worshiped no matter what state I'm in. He meets me where I'm at, He wants me where I'm at, He just wants me...funk and all.
Sunday came and I walked up on that stage praying this as we led worship:
God this is You.
This is not me.
I have nothing to give.
You said to come as I am.
Here I am.
Thank You. Thank You for calling me to this, for calling me in the middle of my heart being a mess, for calling me to come to You and worship You...
...O sovereign God, O matchless KingThank you for Your peace.
the saints adore, the angels sing...
And fall before the throne of grace
To you belongs all highest praise...
These sufferings, this passing tide
under your wings I will abide...
And every enemy shall flee
You are my hope and victory...
To the valley for my soul
Thy great descent has made me whole...
Your word my heart has welcomed home
And peace like water ever flows...
Thank You for giving me hope and victory.
I praise you Father, praise the Son, praise the Spirit three in one.
....Let mercy fall on me....Lord I come to you as I am.
Everyone needs forgiveness the kindness of a Savior...
So take me as you find me
All my fears and failures
Come fill my life again...
I give my life to follow
Everything I believe in...
Now I surrender....
....Shine Your light and let the whole world see...
We're singing for the glory of the risen King...
Use me and fill me up so that it is ALL YOU.
I lift my hands in surrender to You.
All my fears.
All my failures.
All of me...take me.
May I shine for You, may these people shine for You Jesus.
Open their hearts and let them shine for Your glory.
...We were once your enemy...God You have called me out of darkness...
now displayers of your mercy
Called from darkness into light...
...for the hopeless and the weary
For the broken and the needy...
For Your glory, send Your Spirit and let it rise...
given me hope in the light...
to shine for You in the hopeless, weary and broken places...
it's for YOUR glory.
...arrested by your truth and righteousnessI'm covered by Your righteousness and Your grace.
Your grace has overwhelmed my brokenness...
convicted by your spirit led by your word...
Your love will never fail
Your love will never fail...
...You loved a people underserving...
Your love will never leave me.
Your love will never fail me.
I am undeserving...but You loved and You gave.
Thank You.
Thank You.
Thank You.
Thank You.
...filled with wonder, awestruck wonderI'm in awe of You Jesus.
At the mention of Your name....
In awe.
...I know that You're aliveThe light of You, is the light in me.
You came to fix my broken life...
And I'll sing to glorify Your holy name...
Jesus Christ...
...You changed it all You broke down the wall when I spoke and confessed
In You I am blessed now I walk in the light, the victorious sight of You...
This is You.
Not me.
Thank You for picking up my pieces and putting them back together again.
You fix and You heal.
I sing and glorify YOU.
Thank You for singing through me.
You give more than I deserve.
Thank You.
Jeff Mangum gave the message and you should listen to it. It was VERY fitting. By the end of the day I had a smile on my face despite the fact that it was 105 degrees outside and the air conditioning all day wasn't working... I was a hot stinky mess.
I had a smile on my face because God allowed the week that I had. He walked me through a valley that needed to be walked through in order to experience Him the way I did on Sunday. He filled me up and I walked away that night with a confidence in Him. All day long, each service I felt these songs and these prayers being moved by the Spirit. It was so intense. I'm thankful. So thankful.
What I'm not saying is that the funk is miraculously over. It's not. I wish...but it's not. It seems as though I have different eyes in the funk. There are greater purposes here. I'm believing in that.
Songs:
Praise the Father, Praise the Son by Chris Tomlin
Mighty to Save by Hillsong
Rise & Shine by Andy Melvin
To Know Your Name by Hillsong
Revelation Song by Kari Jobe
Fire Fall Down by Hillsong
1 comment:
enough to wipe away any bit of doubt still remaining that God is calling you to Himself - to use you for His purposes. . . as crazy as it may still sound to some people. so even in this suffering, you can thank Him for it, huh? He is something else.
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