Oh, guys. I was so over - whelmed the other day as I walked into my room and there were boxes every - where. I had no idea where to start. I had been without my stuff for 2 months and then all of a sudden I had all of it, all at once. It was overwhelming, and I ended up having a huge pile of stuff I threw away, or am taking to Goodwill. I have to give a shout out to my brother-in-laws Damon and Joe and my nephew Jack for helping Hilary's parents load up the moving truck. Before I left Iowa I took all of my stuff and put it in Hilary's basement with all of her stuff. Since we didn't have a place when we first came to Austin we didn't bring much with us. So once we got a place Hilary's parents brought a moving truck with all of our stuff down to us. Thanks guys for helping load up all of my stuff! I appreciate it soooo much! Thanks Jack for helping with the boxes! You rock!
And a shout out to Hilary's parents, Bill and Sharon, for also helping to load up the truck, but also for making the long trip down here in an uncomfortable moving truck. It was great having you here!
Here is a picture of all of my books. I was over - whelmed as I was unpacking all of them and realizing, first of all, how many of them I had, and then how many of them I have actually read. I'm sad to say that the majority of them were ones that I had never read or had not finished reading. I love books, I love the idea of books. The knowledge in these books. What is funny is that I desire knowledge, to be smart, to know stuff, to learn...here it is...right in front of me, but I don't take it in. Why is it, that I seem to never finish things like this. I'm searching for the answer to that question and searching for the deep parts of me that have remain hidden and come out in strongholds in my life. I have a lot of them. Strongholds. Thing that I am tied to and won't let go. Bondage. My heart is turning, desiring to be free from these things that keep me weighed down and leave me unsatisfied. Although, why is it that in the moments when I am so under the influence of these strongholds that I think that it will be better if I just satisfy my flesh in that moment. But afterwards, it leaves me nothing but emptiness again and with that same yearning to be satisfied. I am living for earthly things, living in "ME". I want out.
Jesus, only YOU can satisfy. I need YOU tonight, and nothing else. I need YOU to break me free, to take this bondage and this weight that I am feeling and take it away. Jesus, fill me with a desire for YOU and only YOU. Help me to have eyes that see things unseen. I know that YOU have water for me that is unlike any water I have found myself. It is different. YOU are different. YOUR water is everlasting. It quenches my deepest thirst, I am dry. Fill me up, so that YOU overflow out of me. Set me free from the sin inside of me. Cleanse me and bring my heart and its deepest parts, the parts that are hidden even from me, out and to YOU. I want to run with my arms in the air, up to YOU and say, "I am finally free!". These chains are broken, and I am free to be who YOU have created me to be. I love you JESUS!
3 comments:
Don't stress sister about the books: the most important one that holds all the knowledge that we ever need to know is the only one that matters..the Bible. Keep truckin' on and searchin' for Jesus, He knows your strongholds better than anyone else. In fact, I thought it was interesting because I once heard a pastor preach on peter and how he told Jesus he wouldn't deny him...but Jesus knew. Peter thought he knew himself better than Jesus knew him. The moral of the message: Jesus knows our own heart better than what will ever know of ourselves. Crazy to think of....but true. How many times to we deceive ourselves? Anyway, sister have fun unpacking and just remember moving out of Scotsdale...Julie Neese and I and I think Linds threw all your stuff in a box. Fun times, great memories.
when i was feeling guilty about all the books i had purchased and not read, and still haven't read...i surrendered them up. then i started just giving them to people to read and if they came back to me, fine, if they didn't then that was fine too. many have come back..and i keep passin' them on. hey, it kinda sounds like a "library" shoot! think i'm a little late inventing that one.
wish i could help ya unpack and get organized-ya know, like my office is...
i'm praying for ya, em. love ya.
thanks for this post, Em...we are a lot alike.
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