June 12--Heaven Day!

June 12. It's been 12 years. My dad has been with Jesus for 12 years and I'm sure that it still feels like the first minute.
Can you imagine?!
In some ways the grieving gets easier. In some ways it is still, real hard.
I miss him, I don't want to forget him, I wouldn't want him to be anywhere else...he's singing and dancing perfectly and worshiping in ways that we can't comprehend, I yearn for heaven.
It's weird, it seems like there is just something in me every year that gets into a "funk" or just a sadness around this time of year. It happens right after my birthday (May 27) and lasts through Father's day. Ugh. Father's day.
It just automatically happens. It's weird. Each year God does something through this time, whether He just lets me be in the funk, He shows Himself, comforts and gets me through it. Or He allows me to share my dad's story and I get to talk about him a lot. Or I will be able to comfort someone who is grieving.
This year seemed to be a little different and I can't help but believe that this is all part of this grieving process. There has been an amazing sweetness that has happened over the last few weeks. God bringing me to new depths with Him. SO good. I love that it is happening during this time that is usually in a "funk". There have still been times of sadness. Some days are good, some days are just sad. Today has been off and on. I miss him.
I love this picture of me and him when I was just little.
So sweet!
I'm praying today that God would reveal something to me that I have forgotten about him.
God show up and fill me with memories.
I have been filling my mind and thoughts with heaven today and it has been sweet. Tearful...but sweet!
God continually shows me His goodness as my perfect Father! Oh I love Him!
So thankful for the time that He gave me with my dad. So thankful that He grabbed hold of my dad's heart and gave him new life. So thankful that he is in heaven with his Creator. His smile has got to be REAL big. I like thinking about that.
"If I find in myself a desire which no experience in this world can satisfy, the most probable explanation is that I was made for another world."

C.S. Lewis