Sunday, June 11, 2006

"Memories, Like the Corners of My Mind, Misty Water-Colored Memories"

Tonight I can't sleep. I have felt a little overwhelmed with the thought of how fast time flies. It will be soon that I will be packing up my stuff and heading south. Am I worried? Not really. Am I excited? YES! Am I nervous? Not yet. Am I scared? YES! I have been organizing and sorting through all of the junk that I have accumulated over the last 25 years! It's been more difficult than I thought it would be. Going through old memories is bringing up a mixture of emotions. Some sad, some happy. I'm reminded of how cool God is in how His plan is so detailed and perfect. He has walked me through so much in my life and it has all been His way of refining who I am, teaching me some hard life lessons, showing me His goodness and most of all covering me in His grace. I don't deserve anything, but it seems that God gives me more than I ever can conceive of. What is funny, is that in the world's eyes, what I have been given doesn't seem like alot. But in my eyes and in His eyes, it is everything! Everything that I need, and everything that satisfies. He is enough for me. And what I have I give back to Him.
I have been listening to Starfield lately and one song has been hitting me, especially as I have been thinking about my past.

Unashamed

I have not much
To offer You
Not near what You deserve
But still I come
Because Your cross
Has placed in me my worth
Oh Christ my King
Of sympathy
Whose wounds secure my peace
Your grace extends
To call me friend
Your mercy sets me free
And I know I'm weak
I know I'm unworthy
To call upon Your name
But because of grace
Because of Your mercy
I stand here unashamed

I can't explain
This kind of love
I'm humbled and amazed
That You'd come down
From heavens heights
And greet me face to face
Here I am at Your feet
In my brokenness complete

My worth, is not my past. My worth is not my future. My worth is nothing about me. My worth is Jesus, the cross, in me. My worth is full of grace!
I am excited to live, to see what else He's going to do with me. I'm ready! Bring it on! He never stops working!

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

emily! what a beautiful poem. is that your own? it makes my heart ache a bit, because i can relate to it so well.
i know you're probably still a bit overwhelmed about going, but God is calling you, girl! do this and honor him, and he is going to use you for great things in Austin.
i love that you can see how blessed you are in God's eyes - since his is the only measure worth your time :)
i love you!